


Tracing Back Time

by WritingBarnes



Series: Back Home [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Action & Romance, Action/Adventure, Angst, Brotherly Love, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Friendship/Love, Mutant Powers, Psychological Trauma, Romance, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-17
Updated: 2015-05-02
Packaged: 2018-03-18 07:53:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 28,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3562037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingBarnes/pseuds/WritingBarnes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve Rogers will never stop looking for Bucky. He was a man out of time and he needs his best friend.</p><p>James Buchanan Barnes is a lost man, torn between who he was and who he is.</p><p>Sylvia Winters is scarred woman, desperate to find herself.</p><p> </p><p>“The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.” </p><p>― Maya Angelou, All God's Children Need Traveling Shoes</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is set after The Winter Soldier movie.  
> I am not very good at this so I hope you understand. But I hope to see your response to this, what you think about this story and if you have any critics/advice :D  
> Any comment is welcomed :)  
> I hope you have a good time reading it.

Steve Rogers was a man of many things but a quitter is not one of them.

 

He held the brown manila folder in his right hand; a 'present' Natasha gave him before they part ways. Sam Wilson is still standing beside him, waiting for Steve to discuss the files with him. He had read a glimpse of the file when Natasha handed it to them. Sergeant Barnes, that was his name. A man who was destroyed and turned into a weapon. And now they are about go get him. He must be mad, he thought, but the Captain America needs his help-even if he will not admit it- and that's enough reason for him to get back to saving the world.

 

"Come on, man. Let's go." Sam slapped Steve's back, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"Thank you, Sam." Steve's voice was soft, almost trembling, unlike his usual strong, confident one.

 

There was another file slipped inside, Steve realized when he flipped the folder to the last page and found an identical folder, albeit smaller stapled. There was no name on the title page and he braced himself to read more gruesome torture they put his best friend through. What he found instead confused him. There was a picture of a woman, probably around his physical age, if not younger. Her hair black as night, a contrasting colors to her bright blue eyes. Beautiful was the first thing that came to his mind. The picture was obviously taken secretly, seeing she was in front of a cafe. He darted his eyes to the descriptions below her picture.

 

'Sylvia Winters' was written in bold letters. Below her name, he noticed Natasha's handwriting, a short explanation on why she gave him the file. A helping hand for you and for your friend, it wrote. He told Sam about the woman before he started to read the file. There wasn't much written about her. She is a gifted woman with a harsh childhood, a mutant. After skimming through her file, he finally found her so-called gift. She possessed similar talent like Charles Xavier, though years of training had aided her with the ability to manipulate emotion. Aside from that, he read, she was also gifted with an ability to manipulate matter though it's not clear how well she does it.

 

There are several more pictures clipped to the file, also taken secretly. Her choice of colors reminds him of Loki and he prayed she would not have his personality. There was something very familiar with her though he couldn't pinpoint what. He closed the file with a sigh. There had to be a way for him to do this without involving other people, he hoped. 

 

*****

 

Steve Rogers watched his fellow avengers read the information on the file. After a few months of searching, he and Sam Wilson finally come to the avengers tower to share the informations they have, which is close to none. It didn't take much for the rest of the Avengers to jump on their feet, ready to help their leader, much to Steve's surprise. Finding Bucky was a priority but he agreed to partake in any mission SHIELD gave them, a little too eager when it comes to destroying HYDRA's facilities.

One morning, Steve was called in to help with a mission. There had been a suspicious activity in Japan and Natasha managed to find out the location of a Hydra Facility. Maria Hill helped her in getting the information they need before they were flown to Japan. They boarded the plane 12 hours later, after a heated argument on how to proceed with the mission. Steve sat next to the window with his hand crossed in front of his chest. He didn’t know what to expect when they arrive in Japan.

 

The facility was very well hidden. It was located at the side of a cliff. The building was a lot smaller than the usual Hydra facility Steve has seen but they were probably tried to be more secretive, which means whatever it is inside the faculty must be a very valuable asset of Hydra. The SHIELD team handled the security guards while the avengers split up to find whatever it is Hydra is trying to hide.

 

Steve stealthily walked towards a room at the end of the corridor. The door was locked but he managed to destroy it with his shield. His hand reached towards the handle and he took a deep breath before opening the door, revealing a white room.

 

 

*****

 

The door creaked open and even in her half conscious state, she can sense someone walking towards her. It was probably the doctors again; ready to inject her with a serum to weaken her power. They have been injecting her more often ever since she tried to break out of their lab. She lay still on the white mattress, her body barely mobile and closed her eyes as they administer more serum and anesthetic into her bloodstream. She couldn’t remember how long she has been kept in the lab.

 

 _“Amelia Summer. December 25 th 1988.” _ Even basic information has become difficult for her to remember. She kept repeating her name and her birthdate in a soft whisper, her body curled to the side, eyes closed, hand clasped together in front of her chest. She gasped in shock when she felt someone gently touched her arm. Her eyes were wide open, expecting the doctors to grab her only to find a pair of blue eyes staring back at her.

 

“Are you okay?” He asked.

 

She shook her head. The man easily wrapped his arms around her and lifted her like she weighed nothing. Her eyes were fixated on his. She wondered how a beautiful pair of eyes like his could look so furious and pained. Her thoughts slowly disappeared as she relaxed into his chest and let him carried her out.

 

The sunlight was blinding, warming her pale skin and in her half conscious state, she thanked the gods for being able to feel it again. He seemed to be in a rush, running with her in arms and hiding behind pillars to avoid gunshots. She was busy trying to stay conscious when she felt him falling down, bringing her down with her.

 

Her eyes scanned his pained face and she looked down to see a gunshot wound on his leg. He watched her as she put her hand on his thigh.

 

“What are you doing?” He croaked.

 

“Helping you.” She whispered back, her voice cracked as she mustered the energy she has left to heal the man in front of her.

 

He stopped her before she can fully heal him, shaking his head, muttering about her not having enough energy to live if she did. She didn’t care, to be honest. She had lived her life suffering and if healing this well-mannered man in front of her is the last thing she can do, so be it. But he seemed as stubborn as she is, picking her up and quickly shouted a female name. Distracted by whomever it is he’s calling, she quickly transfer the remaining energy she had left and his wound slowly closed up, leaving no trace of injury. She saw a glimpse of red hair before she finally succumbs to the darkness.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Even if she be not harmed, her heart may fail her in so much and so many horrors; and hereafter she may suffer--both in waking, from her nerves, and in sleep, from her dreams.”   
> ― Bram Stoker, Dracula

She couldn't remember anything. She was rescued from an experimental lab, they say. The doctors tried to examine her once and she ended up throwing them into a wall. A trauma was then added to her long list of health issues. She sat on the bed, the room locked from the   outside for safety purposes she will never understand. She has been there for more than a week and no one walked inside after the incident with the doctors. No one until now.

 

She turned her attention the door when someone knocked on the door. His face was familiar and she finally matched it with the man that has saved her. So she got out of the bed, alarming everyone watching from a window panel, and walked closer to the door. She managed to unlock it, pulling it open to reveal a man and a woman. She stared at them, finally finding a familiar face, her lips curved into a small smile.

 

"I know you." She stated.

 

The man seemed to be too nervous and somehow irritated to talk so the red headed woman stepped in and gave her a comforting smile. She introduced herself as Natasha and the man as Steve Rogers. She nodded and from her peripheral view, she could see some people putting down their weapons. She looked up to see Steve's blue eyes staring right at her, as if apologizing for the men's actions.

 

"Are you going to get me out of here?" She asked them and received a prompt nod from Natasha.

 

She was glad. The place was suffocating her and made her feel anxious. People are looking at her weirdly and she didn't like the doctors who seemed to be eager to find out what happened to her. So she quickly changed into a pale blue sweater, a pair of black jeans, and a pair of sneakers, all brought by Natasha. She took some time in the bathroom after she changed, examining her own face. She had seen the scars on her body when she changed. She stared at her bruised face, a thin scar running down from her upper jaw to her neck. She had healed most of her injuries, an ability she seemed to acquire along with telekinesis and other abilities she has yet to find out. But the scars stayed and she felt like a broken vase taped together on the register table she saw the other day. Fixed, but not quite.

 

"SHIELD. That's where you work at?" Her question threw Natasha's off.

 

She stared at the confused woman sitting at the back of the car, her eyes wondering. And she remembered about the woman's ability and gave her a small smile. Steve was driving and she saw him stole a glance or two from the rearview mirror. He hasn't said anything to her yet and Natasha wondered if he would ever do.

 

"Invading someone's mind is a bad habit." Natasha reprimanded but there were certain softness in her tone that made the other woman grins.

 

"So, do you know what my name is? I have been trying to remember but--"

 

"Sylvia. Sylvia Winters." Steve's cut her mid sentence.

 

She stayed quiet for a moment and Natasha worried he had upset her but she saw the smile back in her face and she heard her repeating her own name in a whisper. The redhead turned her attention back to the road, occasionally looking at Steve who seemed to be struggling to say something. She didn’t push him. He has been through enough and she understood if he wasn’t ready to say anything.

 

“Was I… A SHIELD agent?” Sylvia wondered, imagining the idea of her running around as a spy, a hero.

 

“You weren’t.” Natasha replied, not bothering to elaborate.

 

By the time they arrived at Avengers Tower, the place she would be staying temporarily, she found out her name is Sylvia Winters, she was 25, born on December 25th, no living relatives, and she was an artist. Her mood greatly improved with all the information she had acquired. She didn’t notice Steve’s weird expression, nor the worried glance Natasha gave him.

 

The building was overwhelming for her, as it turns out. They had to stop a few times because she needed to sit and calm herself down. Her heartbeat increased as they passed a room for experimentation. She may not remember what they did to her back then but she can hear herself screaming for help and an image of her strapped to a chair with machinery around it made her froze in fear. One of the scientists tried to approach them but was flung away when she came in contact with her, breaking the glass door behind her. Her eyes widened with fear as another image of people in similar outfits injected her with bluish liquid, their eyes filled with anticipation while she slipped into darkness. She opened her eyes and found Steve staring at her, eyes filled with worry and she let him carried her when her legs were too weak to support her body. Her eyes slowly closed as she rested her head on Steve’s chest, listening to Natasha’s conversation with an unfamiliar voice. Steve was quiet as they went to her new room and she let herself lulled by his steady breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are highly welcomed!  
> Tell me what you guys think so far?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”   
> ― Rumi

 

When she woke up, it was already late afternoon. She was lying on a soft bed and Steve was sitting across her on an armchair, reading an old book. Her movement caused him to look up and he quickly went to her side to get her a glass of water.

 

“I’m sorry.” She mumbled, blush creeping up her cheeks when she recalled the panic attack few hours ago.

 

“Don’t be. How you feel right now?” It was the second time she heard his voice.

 

“Better. How’s the… um… the woman I threw?” She let out a shaky breath while Steve told her the woman is okay and only suffered minor injuries.

 

“I didn’t mean to, you know.” He heard her barely audible voice, her hand wiping the tears that threatened to fall down.

 

“I know.” Steve’s voice was calm and it made her feel less like a monster.

 

For a moment she wished he were there to tell her everything is going to be all right but he wasn’t. He was her rescuer, tasked to get her out of the hellhole and she wondered how long would it take before he got tired of watching her and leave her. She was tempted to get inside his head, find out what made him look so tired and pained but a glance at his bright blue eyes stopped her.

 

“I…  I saw images.” She ended the moment of silence between them.

 

Steve sat beside the bed and waited for her to continue. His eyes rested on her confused face, her eyebrows furrowed together as if she was trying to piece everything together.

 

“Did they torture me?” She looked up, her eyes filled with determination, to find out what happened or to plan revenge, he did not know.

 

“It appears so. We saw some… devices that may have been built for that purpose.” Steve tried to phrase his answer to make her feel less uncomfortable.

 

When she nodded and asked him to elaborate, he told her about the machinery HYDRA had used on her. Brainwash, torture, injections were among the things he listed they had done to her. He saw her flinched a few times but didn’t stop him from telling her the truth. When he was done, she let out a small sigh; her hands trembled as she looked up with her grey eyes.

 

“I don’t remember much. I had flashes of images of being strapped into a chair, being injected, and screaming for help. I didn’t know. I wasn’t sure if it was real or not.” She looked down on her lap, playing with her fingers.

 

Steve Rogers felt useless in front of her. He could protect, he could bring down HYDRA and he could be a leader but comforting someone who has been through so much was not his expertise. He had taken a good look around the room when they rescued her. A few torture devices were an understatement. He could not bear to see her face if he had told her everything. There were a series of machinery that were probably used on her repeatedly. Stark has explained him the process from injecting her to make sure she could not use her power, strapping her onto a bed and God knows what they did to her there, until the electrocution to wipe her memories, making sure she will never remember anything. Banner had told him about the chances all the memories will come back at once and how he should be prepared to make sure she is not going to lose it and went back to the first time they saw her. He remembered she was laid on a chair, completely strapped with a helmet device slightly falling off her head. He pulled out the helmet, and ripped the leather binding her ankles and wrists, delicately lifted her limp body. She has been whispering her own name and managed to open her eyes, alarmed but quickly softened when she saw him. He whispered a prayer in her ear when she used her remaining power to heal his wound and carried her out of the damned place, swearing to himself he will protect this woman’s life. It is his second chance and he will die before he failed her.

 

“I remember you, though. You and Natasha were the only memories that I can remember clearly.” Her timid voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

 

“Hey. I brought you something to eat.” Natasha’s voice caused both of them to turned their attention to the door.

 

She was carrying a tray of sandwiches, setting it in front of Sylvia who happily devour them. The three of them sat in silence except for the sound her munching. Natasha couldn’t suppress the smile on her face when she saw her smiling at her, telling her she remembered her and Steve. She knew her from the files Maria Hill had given her prior to their rescue mission. SHIELD has been trying to get her to join, to offer insights on her abilities, to be experimented on, and she had reject them all, even caused a minor incident when one of the agent tried to bring her in by force. Natasha was not unfamiliar with torture and science experiment, so she could understand her fear of these people. She had seen the room and it brought unpleasant memories back to the surface, memories she wished she could burry forever.

 

Natasha gave a brief explanation on what they do as a member of Avengers, what’s in the building and the place she could live in. She supposed Sylvia would read her mind and find out the truth if she lied so she didn’t bother to sugarcoat anything. Her explanations seemed to intrigue the woman in front of her for her eyes brightened while she told her about Tony Stark and Bruce Banner; the men who had also take part in rescuing her. She even asked Nat where could she find them. Natasha promised to take her to their lab tomorrow, giving her another explanation to get her familiar with the lab. Steve left them half an hour later after Jarvis announced his presence was needed upstairs. Nat knows better than to prod for more information so she settled next to her and accompany her until she fell asleep before leaving the quarter.

 

The following weeks, Sylvia managed to get used to the building. Tony Stark and Bruce Banner, the scientists that came few days after her panic attack, had given her lengthy explanations on what they do and what they don’t do in Avengers Tower, which helped her feel more comfortable, though she still need a company when she went downstairs. She has also spent a ridiculous amount of time following Tony around when Steve is not around, much to Steve’s annoyance. Tony didn’t mind and actually look very pleased with the idea of having an amnesiac fan trailing behind him. Sylvia knew he was very curious of her abilities and she was grateful he didn’t and resort to finding a way to get her memories back.

 

Sylvia hasn’t remembered anything aside from the torture and she would go crazy if it weren’t for Steve who would answer her with any information in the files. She had tried to read it once but the unfamiliar life made her more frustrated. After a month, she finally gave up trying, opting to find a way to expand whatever potential she has. Natasha was not amused at her revelation, announcing that she will try to do something. No one expected that something to be Loki. Loki had come with Thor, eyes wild and his lips gave the impression of a manic. Thor had explained how Loki’s magic might help Sylvia to Natasha and Steve who almost gave the man a punch. Sylvia was completely fascinated by Loki’s ability, following him like a duckling while asking endless questions, aggravating both Tony and Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think so far!  
> and have a great time reading this


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "No matter how far you travel, you can never get away from yourself." - Haruki Murakami

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a short part taken from Loki's point of view while he was on earth for a short while.

Loki had thought his prison sentence would last forever. He did not count on the very idea of Thor dragging him out of the prison to the Bitfrost, finally arriving at Midgard. He had been thrown off guard when Thor explained him about a woman in Avengers Tower, the very building he kind of destroyed. Natasha Romanoff was more than ready to slit his throat if he ever tried to manipulate her, or so she said. He had asked Thor about Odin’s opinion on him being in New York. The latter gave him a pair of gold bracelet for both his hands as an answer, restricting his magic.

 

“Sylvia, meet Loki.” Natasha said, entering the room with Loki and Thor on her heels.

 

Everyone looked up and Loki noticed Steve’s change in demeanor as he stood in front of the woman. She’s beautiful, Loki had to admit. She would have been considered a beauty even in Asgard despite her height. She barely reach Steve’s chest, her eyes wide with curiosity and anxiety as he approached her.

 

“What the hell, Natasha?” Clint stopped slicing his sandwich and pointed his knife at the silvertongue.

 

“Thor and I have been talking and we think Loki might be able to help her.” Natasha replied.

 

“My brother may have done horrible things but I assure you he will not harm Lady Sylvia.” Thor’s voice boomed throughout the room.

 

“Hello.” Loki’s lips curved into a wicked smile as she stepped out of Steve’s shielding figure and shook his hand.

 

“Hello. So, you can help me with this… power?” He held back a chuckle when he caught her stole a worried glance at Steve and Tony who seemed all too ready to kill him.

 

“I can help you with your memory.” He tapped his temple, “In return, I demand a lighter sentence when we went back to Asgard.” He turned around to face Thor who grumbled yes.

 

“I don’t understand. I thought—“ Sylvia seemed confused at the situation.

 

“He’s the one we told you about, the one who destroyed my building and got smacked down by Banner.” Tony explained.

 

“I don’t think this is a good idea.” Steve cut them.

 

“Oh, the righteous one has spoken. Do listen to him.” Loki mocked.

 

Steve was ready to give the trickster a good punch when Sylvia’s eyes brightened. She saw Loki’s hand let out faint swirls of green and gold, ready to protect himself with his limited power.

 

“Can’t you teach me that instead of returning my memories?” She asked, catching the god off guard.

 

“No. I am a god, not a mere mortal like you. My job is to get your memories back and I will be gone from Midgard.”

 

She seemed so disappointed Loki almost took back his words. But his pride wouldn’t let him. He motioned her to sit in front of him, his fingers touching her temples, his eyes closed. It wasn’t long before images started to flash in front of him, her memories, he supposed. There were montages of her childhood, her first kiss, her first heartbreak, her struggle with her power, and everything suddenly turned black and he was presented with different images. He can feel the bile rising in his throat as he watched her transported to a lab, her body strapped into a device, the scientists crowding around her. He watched her screeched in agony as they experimented on her; her body sagged against the mattress. He tried to shake the image out of his head, focusing on the next memory that turned out to be far worse than the last. There were a lot of screaming and crying; he can see her life slowly slipping away inside the lab. He can almost feel the pain inflicted on her and it brought up certain memories he had buried inside his heart. He suddenly detached his fingers and took a sharp intake of breath, his pupils dilated.

 

“What did you see? Is it still inside?” She asked.

 

“I—I think I am going to throw up.” He stood up and went to the bathroom.

 

Steve put his hand on her shoulder to provide some comfort when he saw her dismay. She didn’t say anything and stared at the bathroom door, waiting for Loki to come out.

 

“So?” Bruce Banner, who joined them not long after the whole confrontation, asked.

 

“I don’t—I am not sure I am able to give her memory back.” Loki effortlessly lied through his teeth.

 

“Why?” He heard Thor’s voice in the back as he stared at Sylvia’s hopeful eyes.

 

“There are thing that are better left forgotten. Memory can be quite…a painful thing.” He carefully phrased his sentence.

 

“Is it because of the torture?” Her question surprised him.

 

“I remembered some of it. I can take it, you know.” He wondered if she was trying not to cry as she said that.

 

“I am Loki the Trickster, I am not a healer. I cannot help you. But, I may be able to help you discover your potential.” He offered, anything to escape himself from having to get inside her head.

 

And so for the next week, he had her on his heels, following his every step. A nuisance, he would tell her when she did not stop asking him to help her. He had helped her with her ability to manipulate matter, though she seemed to be having a hard time controlling it. And when she figured out how, he asked Thor to take him back to Asgard, much to Steve’s and Tony’s delight. He cannot stand being around her when all he sees is the torture she had went through.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think :D


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The worst part of holding the memories is not the pain. It's the loneliness of it. Memories need to be shared.”  
> ― Lois Lowry, The Giver

She woke up drenched in sweats, her heart thumping loudly against her chest. Her eyes scanned the whole room, relieved to find no one is there to watch over her before looking at the alarm clock next to her bed. 2 a.m. Figuring she won’t be able to get back to sleep, she got out of bed, changing her sweaters with a lighter clothes and stepped out of her room. Steve has been gone for a mission, his worried face still etched in her mind as he boarded the quinjet with Natasha and Tony Stark. She felt bad for being glad they have all gone away. It was nice to have them around when she first came but lately, their presence felt more like pestering and she hated that. Her feet took her out of her place, asking Jarvis to grant her access to leave the Avengers Towers when the system denied her ID card.

 

“I am sorry, Miss. Winters but I am under direct command not to let you leave the tower without supervision.” The British accent perturbed her more than she already was.

 

“I am leaving this place, Jarvis.” She gritted her teeth, her hands pressed against the glass door, creating a hole enough for her to pass through.

 

She didn’t hear Jarvis asking her to stop as she left. She had her eyes on her hands, both terrified and mystified by her abilities. She was clad in sneakers, sweatpants and a long shirt, her hair tied up in a messy bun and she was sure she looked more like a homeless person than a mutant. She needed air and she wasn’t sure being locked up in Avengers Towers for a few months is helping.

 

After an hour of walking, Sylvia finally stopped in front of a familiar building. She hasn’t been out in the months she lived in the Tower and the building felt oddly familiar to her. Her fingers traced the lion statue at the front gate. This must be her former home, she thought to herself as flash of image went through her mind. Her body went rigid when she sensed someone was watching her. Slowly turning her body, she saw a man standing across the road, his messy hair reached just above his shoulders, his eyes looked empty and she resisted the urge to cross the road and approached the man who just stood there, watching her, closing his eyes for a short moment before returning his gaze.

 

Unable to handle his intense stare, she finally made up her mind and shook away any fear in her and crossed the road, slightly alarming the man. He was about to leave when she started to run across and reached him.

 

“Who are you?” She asked, slightly breathless.

 

The man stayed silent and she started to feel nauseous. The tension between them reminds her of the times she spent in Hydra facility and she took a deep breath to calm herself down. She contemplated to read his mind but a glance at his metal arm hidden under the sleeves of his shirt stopped her. This man would kill her if she blurted out what he has been thinking. So she opted for the safest way.

 

“Do I know you? Can I help you?” She gently asked.

 

He shook his head, looking as lost as she was the first day Steve Rogers saw her. She felt sympathy for the man in front of her. She looked at his eyes and felt a sense of familiarity with the vacant stare he gave her. Her mind raced, finding the metal arm and his eyes familiar. She was sure she had seen them before and her eyes widened when another image flashed in her mind.

 

She was laying on the hard mattress inside the special glass prison they had provide for her when she saw him walked inside the lab, his vacant stare send shivers down her spine. He was given a serum she did not know what, and were seated on the very same device she was on. They were wiping his mind too, she concluded, wincing at his muffled screams. She closed her eyes, hoping it will be over soon. Her wish to escape has long gone.

 

“I know you. You were there too.” She whispered and he quietly nodded after a few moments.

 

“I’m Sylvia. Sylvia Winters.” She gave him a small smile.

 

“The man on the bridge called me Bucky.” He mumbled.

 

 

* * * * *

 

Bucky Barnes has been wandering for months after he escaped Hydra. He knew the man on the bridge, Captain America, is looking for him but he was not ready to meet him, not yet. He still struggled with the revelation that he has a past, a good one, and that he was a sergeant, a good man. He left some traces in other cities, robbing some mini stores to get some money and to mislead Captain America and his friends before completely disappeared from the grid. It surprised him no one has found him in the very New York City. He rented a small place with the money he had stolen, a little far from the Avengers Towers, giving him access to see the tower yet be completely hidden from them.

 

He was doing his usual activity, roaming around in the middle of the night, since he was used to have a nocturnal working hour and he liked to be prepared for anything when he saw her. He has never seen anyone walking around in this hour beside him and it surprised him to see a woman near his place. He has his guard up, his hand gripping the small knife he hid in his belt. She was standing in front of a building for a while. After a good few minutes of watching her, he thought she was a homeless person and was about to leave until she turned around and caught his intense gaze.

 

He knew her. His mind was suddenly flooded with images of a woman inside a glass prison cell, looking at him. She was there with him. This is the woman who always stayed inside the glass prison, having her memory wiped just like him. He winced at the sudden surge of memories and closed his eyes tightly for a moment, waiting for the headache to go away before staring back at her, only to find her trying to cross the street. He panicked and decided to leave when she reached him, stopping him from escaping. He seemed to be having a hard time asking her some questions without offending her and opted to give her a confused and lost look instead. She asked about him, clearly not remembering anything about him and he thought she was his replacement, sent to kill him when her eyes cleared and she whispered the words.

 

“I know you. You were there too.”

 

He stared at her and nodded, listening to her introduction. Her relieved expression told him she was in no way affiliated with Hydra and he relaxed at his conclusion. He supposed she would be able to help him with whatever it is he’s feeling so when she waited for him to introduce himself, he parted his lips and replied in a quiet voice,

 

“The man on the bridge called me Bucky.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone :)  
> Chapter 5! I hope you guys enjoy this story as much as I enjoy writing them. Sorry for any mistakes in the writing.
> 
> Tell me what you think! Leave comments! I would love to hear what you think about the story and what should happen etc :)
> 
> PS : I have noticed I paste the whole chapter in Chapter 4 and I'm sorry for that. It has been fixed :D


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We just did an awesome job of not dying.”   
> ― John Green, Let It Snow

The mission had gone successfully to awry in hours. They had found and destroyed a Hydra facility, caught one of the scientists responsible for Sylvia’s torture. Tony Stark looked satisfied at Natasha’s work on the scientist’s face until he decided to kill himself before getting into the quinjet. The three of them stared at the lifeless body in front of them, foam coming out of his mouth. Natasha’s eyes were stone cold, ready to release her frustration on the nearest object though her self-control was strong enough for her not to act on her anger. Tony, on the other hand, punched the side of the car with his suits on, leaving a huge dent. Steve was the first one to speak up.

 

“We should get back.” He uttered in a monotone voice.

 

The ride back home was worse. Everyone stayed on their seats in silent, wondering they can help Sylvia if the people responsible kill themselves before they get back to New York.

 

 _“Sir, there has been a problem in the Avengers Tower. It’s about Miss Winters.”_ Jarvis’ British accent rang inside the jet.

 

Steve’s heart raced at the mention of her. Clint left for a mission, Bruce had to go to India for a week, and Thor left for Asgard, leaving Sylvia alone without anyone’s supervision. His protective instinct kicked in.

 

“What problem?” Steve questioned the A.I.

 

_“Miss Winters has left the tower, Captain. I tried to stop her but she managed to destroy the glass door with her power and left. It has been a few hours and she still hasn’t come back. I tried to locate her but she seemed to have left all her belongings in the tower.”_

 

Natasha was sure she heard Steve took a sharp intake of breath as they listened to JARVIS’ explanation. Sylvia had become such an integral part of the team in a short span of time, it scares her sometimes how protective she becomes when it comes to her. Her hands gripped the side of the seat tightly. The day couldn’t get any worse, she thought. She listened to Tony’s barking instruction to JARVIS, telling the artificial intelligence ways to locate her and JARVIS’ negative replies back and forth. Steve has paled and she felt sorry for the man. It doesn’t take a genius to see Steve’s effort in saving Sylvia is his way of redeeming himself for not being able to save Bucky Barnes. Her mind wondered back to Sylvia and what made her left the tower at 2 in the morning.

 

* * * * *

 

Bucky Barnes could not pinpoint whatever it is he’s feeling right now. Fear, relief, nervous, grateful, all mixed together as he slowed down his pace to match the woman next to him. She was real, he thought, and she understands what happened to him. That alone was enough to send his brain into frenzy. She seemed as shocked as him, Bucky noticed. They walked silently around the neighborhood, waiting for each other to speak out.

 

“I didn’t remember anything. Even with my power, I can’t get my memories back.” He heard her dulcet voice and turned his head to watch the expression on her face.

 

“The wiping really fucked us up, you now.” She looked up and he noticed how she barely reached his shoulders.

 

He wanted to ask her questions. He wanted to know how she got out and how she managed to survive. He needed to know how to cope with the recurring nightmares and if she has it too. But the words got stuck in his throat, disabling him from speaking.

 

“How?” He finally mustered enough courage to asked her.

 

“How? How I got out?” She asked, waiting for his nods before continuing, “I don’t remember much. But I remember feeling like I was dying, or more correctly, wanting to die. It was a painful experience, I couldn’t do anything and they kept strapping me to the machine. That is until I heard explosions and the door was opened and I saw this man in blue uniform.” She took a breath and let it out, a grateful smile etched on her face.

 

“He knocked everyone out and approached me. He has this very blue eyes and I can feel myself relaxing. I thought this was it, I am dying and this is an angel sent to take me away. And then I heard him asking me if I was okay. He carried me out of the place, got shot, and I may have used my remaining energy to heal him before passing out.” She ended her story.

 

“Man in blue uniform?” Bucky asked.

 

“Captain America. Do you remember him?” She asked when Bucky stiffened.

 

He stared at her bright blue eyes and wondered if this is how she feels when she saw Steve Roger’s eyes. She was patient with him, waiting for him to come up with the words he wanted to say, not once rushing him, which he greatly appreciated. He soon relaxed his posture and close the distance he put between them.

 

“I don’t know. He said I was his friend.” He told her.

 

Sylvia didn’t say anything and he continued telling her about his encounter with Steve, fighting the man who claimed to be his best friend and knows him, while struggling to get his mind together. He told her about the last fight and how he was pinned under a huge metal foundation and Steve helped him, only to have him attacking Steve when he managed to escape. He knows she was watching him as he explained her what happened during the fight. She was smiling when he reached the part where Steve fell down the helicarrier and he decided to jump off to save the man, even when he didn’t remember anything. He felt like he was supposed to save him and so he did, abandoning Hydra’s order once and for all.

 

 

“What happened next?” She found herself asking when he stopped talking.

 

She watched his lips curved into a small, tired, smile.

 

“I left him. I did not know what to do. I had too many flashes of memories I don’t even know if it was real or not. I left and left some fake trails around the state and went back here.”

 

“I think they have your memorial in the museum.” She told him.

 

“You knew I was the Bucky Barnes?” He asked in confusion.

 

“I kind of piece it together. No wonder you look familiar.” She smiled a warm smile, enough to make Bucky smiled back.

 

“I went there once. It made me feel sick.” She wondered if he felt like she did when they told her all the information they have about her.

 

“I know how you feel.” She replied in a sympathetic tone.

 

They shared another moment of silence as they sat on one of the benches. They have arrived at a small park and decided to take a small rest from walking.

 

“Sylvia?”

 

“Hm?”  
  
“I am very glad to meet someone I am familiar with.” He confided.

 

“Me too, Bucky.” She gave his hand a light squeeze before she leaned back on the bench, watching for the sunrise.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May all of you have a good time reading this story.  
> Don't forget to leave comments and tell me what you think of this story so far? I would love to read your feedback.
> 
> thank you :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “And then something invisible snapped insider her, and that which had come together commenced to fall apart.”   
> ― John Green, Looking for Alaska

Bucky Barnes was gentleman enough to walked her back to the tower even though he stopped a good few miles away. They stood at the side of the street, waiting for the light to turn green.

 

“Bucky?” He looked down at her when he heard her voice.

 

“Why don’t you come with me to the tower? Steve would love to see you doing well.” She asked him, a smile painted on her face.

 

“I’m not ready yet. I just—“ he couldn’t finish his sentence. What was he about to say? That he was terrified of being treated like a monster. He was brainwashed, but not everyone will accept that reasoning. Steve would probably defends him and even with his limited memories of Steve, he knows the man would risk everything to make sure he was not treated as a monster.

 

“You don’t have to explain anything.”

 

“Just… I don’t want Steve to know I’m around here… yet.” Bucky told her.

 

“I won’t say anything. Come when you’re ready. We’ll be waiting.” She patted his shoulder and crossed the road, leaving him with a string of numbers he can call if he needs help.

 

* * * * *

 

She was feeling a lot better after talking to Bucky. The man seemed distant at times, eyes vacant when they talked about what they remembered in the HYDRA facility. Her smile dropped at the sight of repairmen working to replace the glass door she had broken earlier that night. It’s still 7 in the morning and no one has arrived to work yet besides a few scientists who needs to check up on their projects. Sylvia was greeted by JARVIS in the elevator, updating her on the Avengers’ mission and their reaction to her disappearance.

 

“Why do you have to tell them?” She groaned in frustration.

 

_“I’m sorry, but it is in the protocol, miss Winters. You have left the building without any supervision and I am obliged to tell the Avengers about it.”_

“Are they mad?” She whispered, hoping for the elevator to be slower.

 

_“Captain Rogers looks distressed, Agent Romanoff looks confused, and Mr. Stark is still trying to find a way to locate you. I will have to inform them of your return.”_

 

“Yeah. You do that. Tell them not to kill me when I get there.” She sighed, hearing a soft beeping sound before a classical song played in the background.

 

* * * * *

 

Steve Rogers jumped in his seat when he heard JARVIS’ voice informing them about Sylvia’s return. He felt a surge of relief, soon replaced in irritation. The mission is taking a toll on him and he was still agitated from the death of the HYDRA scientist, when the elevator door pinged open, he leaped from the couch and strode towards the young woman.

 

“Where have you been?” He asked, exhaustion evident in his voice.

 

“I couldn’t sleep and I needed air. JARVIS wouldn’t let me leave so I had to break the glass, sorry Tony.” She mumbled the last part.

 

“You could’ve been captured by HYDRA again, you know.” Tony crossed his arms and stared at her.

 

“You shouldn’t even left the building. You need someone to accompany you.” Steve’s voice rang clear and she felt a sudden prick of annoyance at their scolding.

 

“Well, sorry for being suffocated in this place!” Sylvia snapped.

 

“What? We saved you.” Tony reminded her.

 

“I KNOW! But you don’t have to treat me like I am some 5 years old who can’t do anything. I can protect myself. I know it’s dangerous and I don’t mind being protected but you don’t even let me out of the building and I needed air. I need to breath! I have been having nightmares and the stress of being… locked inside this tower is driving me mad!”

 

“HYDRA could have captured you!” Steve’s voice was loud and stern.

 

She stared at him in disbelief. Why is he so protective of her. Her question was soon answered when she looked into his eyes and saw images of Bucky flashing through his mind. She has never read his mind before but it seemed like his thoughts are too strong for her to ignore. Tears brimmed in her eyes at the realization.

 

“Why are you so worked up over this?” She asked only to receive no answer.

 

“Is it because I am Bucky’s replacement?” She questioned him again and let out a bitter laugh when he looked away in shame.

 

“Is that why you are so adamant on helping me out? Because you couldn’t save him? I feel honored.” Natasha, who was silent throughout the whole ordeal watched Sylvia’s eyes watered.

 

“Sylvia—“ Steve tried to explain but was cut by Sylvia’s angry stare.

 

“No. You don’t get to Sylvia me. I cannot remember a fucking thing! And I counted on you to be a family only to find out this!” the tears finally fell down her cheeks, and they all jumped at the sound of objects smashed to the floor.

 

“We do care about you.” Steve softly spoke, watching her observing the mess she had made.

 

“I don’t think so. You are all afraid I would kill someone, that’s why you’re keeping me here. I can hear all your thoughts. So much for caring.” She seethed.

 

She didn’t say anything and turned on her heels, walking away from them. She needed quiet. She needed to be away from them. Her hand pushed open her bedroom door and she slammed it close, locking it twice and told JARVIS not to let anyone in without her permission. The AI seemed to understand her and obliged, quieting the room from outside noises, letting her cry out her frustration. Did everyone think of her that way, she wondered, did everyone think caring for her was their way to redeem themselves after the deaths of people few years ago, after the failed missions they had, and the fear of her hurting people?

 

* * * * *

 

Clint Barton arrived at the tower few hours later, hoping to make a good meal to satisfy his hunger, only to find the place in a wreck. Steve was sitting on the couch, his hands covering his face and he didn’t know if the man was crying or sleeping. Natasha was perched at the kitchen stool, staring blankly at the mess in front of her while Tony seemed to be a little too eager to drink the scotch in his hand.

 

“What the hell happened here? Where’s Sylvia?” he walked inside, careful not to step on the broken glasses and ceramics.

 

No one answered him and his eyes darted towards the only closed door down the hall, Sylvia’s room. She seemed to notice his arrival, he noted, when she peeked her head out for a mere second before slamming it close.

 

“Did you guys get into a fight or something?” He casually asked while fixing himself a sandwich. He stopped moving when no one said anything.

 

Figuring the three of them will never tell him what happened, he looked up and called Jarvis, demanding a lengthy explanation. The AI readily told him about the fight, the shouting, and Sylvia’s disappearance.

 

“The hell? I told you guys not to be too protective.” He rolled his eyes; slightly annoyed his prediction came true.

 

“Yeah, yeah.” Tony sounded irritated at Clint’s jab. The man did tell them not to hover around her too much or she will break and explode. But did they listen to him? No, he sarcastically thought, munching on his sandwich and grab the other piece before exiting the room. She could use a sandwich after the whole crying and shouting, he thought, feeling proud of himself for caring for her.

                                                                                                                            

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 7 is here! Chapter 8 will probably be out in the next day or two.
> 
> Tell me what you think!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We're all human, aren't we? Every human life is worth the same, and worth saving.”  
> ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Bucky kept an eye on Sylvia as she crossed the road, his hands in his pocket, waiting for her to safely crossed the road before turning around, returning to his own flat. Her words rang in his head for the next few days, her invitation and her phone number, a promise of solace. He didn’t have the courage to pick up one of his disposable phone and called her, even when the nightmares made him sprang out of his bed, hand gripping the knife he put next to his pillow. He still walked around at night, an activity he found comforting, especially when memories of being a ruthless killer haunts his mind when he tried to close his eyes. Bucky felt a slight tinge of disappointment when he didn’t see her throughout the week, wondering if her time in Avengers Tower was better than having him for a company.

 

It was when he dreamt of brutally killing her and Steve that Bucky finally decided to punch in the numbers he has memorized by heart, patiently waiting for the call to connect. He was about to hang up the call when he heard a faint click and her raspy voice.

 

“Hello?” she croaked, obviously woken up from her deep sleep.

 

“Sylvia?” Bucky mumbled after a long silence.

 

“Bucky? What’s wrong?” She sat straight up, quietly yawned.

 

The man hasn’t called her for a week and she was afraid she has scared him when she invited him to go back with her. And even when she is still giving the rest of Avengers—especially Steve—a silent treatment aside from Bruce, Clint, and Thor, she still wants him to be happy and to see his best friend alive and well. She waited for Bucky to speak, glancing at the clock on a nightstand.

 

“Nothing. Sorry for waking you up.” He spoke so quickly she almost couldn’t hear anything he was saying.

 

“It’s not nothing if you called me after a week… at… 1 A.M. Are you having nightmares?” She carefully thread, wondering if he had experience the same thing as her.

 

“I usually dream I was being strapped on the wiping machine, I can feel the electricity running through my body and I couldn’t do anything. Sometimes I hurt people I care about in my dreams.” She confessed when Bucky didn’t say anything other than a short ‘yes’.

 

Bucky listened to her slightly shaking voice as she continued to tell him about her nightmares and the good dreams she sometimes had, feeling the panic slowly dissipate. She didn’t badger him to tell her about his trouble and he was grateful for that.

 

“I dreamed I killed you and Steve.” His voice came out raspy and tired.

 

“Oh Bucky, I’m so sorry. I wish I could do something to help you.” He furrowed his eyebrows, confused at her apology.

 

“This is good.” He told her.

 

“Then you can call me anytime you want.” He could hear a smile in her voice.

 

They didn’t talk much after that and opted to listen to each other’s breathing. Sylvia was the first one to fell asleep and Bucky felt bad for keeping her awake. He took a deep breath, sleepiness finally come to him. Tomorrow, he told himself, bringing the phone closer to his lips.

 

“Good night, Sylvia Winters.” He softly breathed out.

 

* * * * *

 

Bucky woke up from the soundest sleep he has ever had in years, recalling his conversation with Sylvia last night. He took a shower and changed into a pair of jeans and a dark grey sweater, not forgetting his cap to cover his face. He grabbed his wallet and his phone, putting on his shoes before walking out of his flat.

 

His feet took him to the front of Avengers Towers despite his nerves. There were a lot of people coming in to work and he felt uneasy. Bucky would have turned around and left if not for the familiar voice calling him from across the street. Sylvia was holding a small paper bag and waved at him, running towards him when the lighy turns green. He bit his lips to stop snapping at her and told her how dangerous that was. Her face looked tired and he felt guilty, knowing he might be the cause of that.

 

"Clint let me out to grab some bagels for breakfast and I have extra if you want?" She lifted the brown paper bag with a small hopeful smile on her face.

 

"Yeah." He didn't know she could look any happier at his reply.

 

She motioned him to follow her, entering the building and somehow manipulated the security guy to let him pass without going through the metal detector. They headed toward an elevator that looks slightly different from the other four across the room.

 

"This is for the Avengers, and me since I live here." She pressed a button and played with the end of the paper bag, looking nervous.

 

"It's nice." He finally spoke after she opened the door to her home.

 

"The rest of the Avengers got the upper floors. There's only me and Clint, and an empty flat right across my place." She gave him a small smile and the hopes in her voice didn't escape his ears.

 

They sat on the kitchen stools, chewing on their bagels in silence until they heard a soft knock on the door. He almost jumped in surprise when Jarvis spoke out.

 

"It's the AI tony has made." She explained, waiting for any information from Jarvis.

 

"Mr. Barton is outside. Should I let him in?"

 

She looked at him and he slowly nodded. What's the worse that could happen, he thought, swallowing the last piece of bagel. He was wrong. Clint Barton dropped his coffee at the sight of Sylvia sitting next to The Winter Soldier, the man they have been trying to track.

 

"What the hell. How-" he sputtered, accepting a bagel from Sylvia.

 

"This is Bucky Barnes. Bucky, meet Clint Barton. I invite him for a breakfast." She answered, clearly not bothered to elaborate.

 

"You have some explaining to do." He nodded at Bucky and grabbed the last bagel from Sylvia.

 

"So, what brings you here? I thought you were in San Francisco." Clint's bluntness made him looked up from his coffee. He likes the man already.

 

"I'm having breakfast with Sylvia. And you." He shrugged, eliciting a small chuckle from the woman next to him.

 

"Steve would be happy to know you're here." Clint told him and pointed his finger at Sylvia. "Not so happy about you hiding this fact, though."

 

"I know." She looked annoyed and Bucky was tempted to ask her what happened.

 

"We are not in the best of terms recently." She told him when she felt his eyes boring into her skull.

 

* * * * *

 

Clint snorted at her answer. The woman has been ignoring the half of Avengers for almost a week and successfully frustrating Steve and Tony. He was more than impressed when she managed to avoid Natasha as much as she could, giving her a slight nod when they bumped into each other. He supposed Natasha was more on the neutral side, slightly leaning towards the 'person Sylvia is ignoring' list. Bruce and Thor were confused at her silent treatment, mostly Thor. Bruce was quick to calm her down, telling her she was not a monster she thought she was. It didn't work very well, he recalled. There were a little shuffling before he found her crying in his arms and he remembered thinking if this is what it feels like to have a sister.

 

"You ready to meet him?" She asked when they have done eating.

 

Bucky throw away the last bits of crumbs in the trashcan before he nods. He looked so anxious as they went out Clint felt sorry for him. He knows the man's history and would be opposing the idea if Loki didn’t take over his mind last year. The door slides open to reveal a huge living room, used for gathering and 'family' occasion, as Sylvia liked to put it. Steve was the only one in the room and looked up from his scrambled eggs when he heard the elevator opened, eyes widening shock at the sight of Bucky.

 

"Bucky?"

 

"She invited him for breakfast and asked him to meet you." Clint offered the vaguest explanation and watched Steve's eyes darted towards Sylvia who was standing right behind Bucky.

 

If this weren’t such a serious moment, Clint would have laughed at Steve's torn expression between wanting to give Bucky or Sylvia a hug. Sylvia grabbed Clint's elbow and dragged him into the kitchen giving Steve and Bucky some privacy. They stayed in silent, hoping to pick up anything from Steve and Bucky's conversation. He watched Sylvia's eyes fixated at Steve's unfinished breakfast, waiting for her to comment on Steve's lack of nutritional breakfast, not that the man need any. She didn't though, letting out a small sigh instead. He knew Sylvia's anger has dissipated and now felt nothing but hurt, unlike what his friends thought.

 

* * * * *

 

The news Bucky moving to the tower doesn't surprise him. He had expected that from the moment he saw him in Sylvia's apartment. He was not even surprised when he listened to Sylvia's lengthy explanation--something he had to forced her to tell- and was actually glad to see her smiling. They could make a brainwashed club, he wanted to say but realize how fucked up his joke was. The others seemed shocked when Steve announced Bucky's back, mostly wary of what he's capable of. Natasha stayed silent, as always, observing everyone's reaction. She shrugged when they asked for her opinion.

 

"She managed to get him to come." Was her only reply.

 

Bruce Banner was the second one to agree, mostly because he felt sorry for the guy. But he was a good man and Clint respects him more for looking past Bucky's days as the winter soldier. Thor didn't care much, as he expected, greeting Bucky in his booming voice which is a little bit to cheerful for everyone. Tony stayed rooted in wanting no business with the former assassin and Maria Hill, who was a little skeptic backs up his decision. He was about to retaliate and express his deep hatred for the winter soldier for allegedly killing his parents when he saw Sylvia's face. The woman's empty eyes made him stop in his track.

 

"Fine. But don't expect me to be all chirpy and hug him." He gulped down his scotch. Sylvia's face stayed neutral even though Clint can see her eyes sparkled in glee as she walked out to visit Bucky and tell him the news.

 

"What? They're bffs now?" Maria asked, gladly taking an alcoholic drink Tony offered her.

 

"She met him last week when she went out. I suppose they found comfort in each other, knowing they would understand what they're going through." Bruce was the one who answered her.

 

"What's taking them so long?" Natasha finally spoke up when few hours went by and they still haven't return.

 

"She was supposed to come back in like an hour or two." Steve tried to call her while the others are busy bickering, only to be sent to voicemail.

 

"She was probably helping him pack up." Bruce said but the calm atmosphere went down the drain when they heard her phone rang on the kitchen table.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! 8th chapter is here! I'm on a roll lol  
> Tell me what you think so far!! :)
> 
> I'll probably posted the next chapter tonight or tomorrow, so, let me now if you have any advice to make this story better or if you want to tell me about your view of the characters and all that :D
> 
> thank you for reading and enjoy!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The most sublime act is to set another before you.”   
> ― William Blake

Sylvia Winters was more than ecstatic to deliver the news. She grabbed a taxi, her feet fidgeting throughout the ride.

 

“Nervous, Mam?” The driver was an old man who seemed worried about Sylvia’s uncontrollable nerves.

 

“No. Just excited. I have good news to tell my friend.” She shoved a crumpled dollar bills, not caring about the changes and jumped out of the taxi.

 

She saw Bucky walking down the street with his head down and her smile widened. Her feet moved faster to approach the man who looked shocked to see her.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“They said you could stay!” Bucky swore he had never seen anyone this joyful in his presence before.

 

Both of them walked back to his place with Bucky trying to make her slow down a little bit when she started to jog. His room was bare except for the basic necessities, which doesn’t surprise her. His clothes are neatly stacked inside a small wardrobe and he easily fit them inside his duffel bag, along with his weaponry and a book. He left his bedroom and went back to the living room only to find her standing next to a window.

 

“Hey, let’s go.” He told her and she looked back with an expression of terror.

 

“There are men walking towards your place and I think they’re HYDRA.” She whispered, her voice shaking.

 

Bucky dropped his bag, took out a gun, and went to Sylvia to check on the men. They were indeed trying to get to his place and it seemed that some of them had entered the building. He heard a knock on the door and felt her tensed beside him.

 

“Hold this.” He took her trembling hand and gave her the gun, his blue eyes staring back at hers.

 

“What are we going to do?!” She whispered when the knocking gets louder.

 

“Mr. Barnes?” they quickly ran to find a hiding place when they heard one of the agent spoke, followed by a gunshot.

 

The agent was tall and very well built, she noticed. His eyes scanned the room and smirked as he pointed his gun towards Bucky’s hiding place.

 

“NO!” She screamed, pressing the trigger and shot the man dead.

 

Bucky stepped out of his hiding and watched her froze.

 

“We need to go.” He abandoned his bag and grabbed her hand.

 

The other agents ran upstairs and started to fire at them. Bucky tried his best to protect her and shot them dead at the same time. She was holding on well on her own, shooting the agents and using her power to put them down, healing Bucky’s occasional wound from the gunshot. They were doing a good job at that until he saw an agent successfully got near them and pointed her gun at them. He felt a push to the side and heard a small gasp. He turned his head towards her and found her holding the side of her stomach, her eyes wide. Blood were sipping through her shirt and she fell down on her knees. He shot the last agent before lifting her up and quickly exited the building.

 

“I can’t.” She panted when he gently put her down, letting her lean on the brick wall of an empty alley.

 

“You’ll be okay.” He told her, pressing the wound to slow down the bleeding but she shook her head.

 

“I can’t heal myself. They shot me with something.” Her face was pale.

 

“Press the wound. I’ll call Steve. Do you know his number?” He asked.

 

“My phone. Just call my phone. I left it.” She seemed to be holding up so Bucky released his hand from her stomach and quickly dialed the number, his body stiffened when he felt her head on his shoulder.

 

* * * * *

 

“Maybe she’s calling to let us know she’ll be late.” Tony said while waiting for Steve to pick up the call.

 

Steve nodded and slide his thumb across the screen to let the call in and was greeted by sounds of gunshots and shouting. He felt his blood ran cold.

 

“Hello?!” He heard Bucky shouted.

 

“Bucky? What is going on?”

 

“They came to my place and they just started to shoot at us. Someone shot Sylvia with something, I don’t know, she kept telling me she cannot heal herself anymore and she was bleeding pretty badly. We’ve fled the scene but I cannot move her too much or she’ll lose more blood.” Bucky’s voice was tense.

 

“I get my suit.” Tony immediately said, followed by the rest of the team when Steve looked up at them with angry eyes.

 

“I’ll call for medic.” Bruce walked up to Steve and put a hand on his shoulder.

 

“She’ll be fine.” Steve heard him spoke.

 

* * * * *

 

The first thing Bucky said to Steve when they found him and Sylvia is “I’m sorry.” Steve did not understand why he would apologize when he managed to keep her alive and slow down her bleeding. But Bucky looked so guilty he didn’t have the heart to tell him to go back to his new place when Steve found him sitting in the same place for two days. He was seated next to her bed, his eyes focused on her sleeping figure, occasionally glaring at the door. After the long hours of surgery, they have finally managed to move Sylvia to a private ward in Avengers Tower. Bucky stayed with her throughout the whole procedure, ready to come at anyone who tried to stop him.

 

Steve was the first and the only one who is brave enough to come up to Bucky two days later. He watched his friend grabbed the plastic knife from a food tray on the table when he walked in without knocking. Steve looked away from Bucky’s empty eyes and sat on the other side of the bed.

 

“Bucky, you need to get some rest.” He quietly told him.

 

“You should at least shower and change into clean clothes. You still have Sylvia’s blood on your shirt.” Steve continued when Bucky didn’t answer him.

 

“She saved my life.” Bucky finally speaks, his voice filled with guilt.

 

“Bucky—“ Steve began but Bucky cut him off.

 

“I was supposed to get shot and she pushed me away. I have to protect her now.”

 

“This is not your fault.” Steve argued but Bucky was too stubborn to let that go, his right hand touching hers gently, as if he could break her.

 

“Yes, it is.” Bucky whispered. “If I didn’t call her and tell her about what I’m going through, she won’t be coming to my place. None of this would’ve happen.”

 

“Idiot.” Both of them looked down at her face when they heard her croaky voice.

 

“Sylv.” Steve breathed out. “I’ll get the doctor.” And he quickly left the room, leaving Bucky and Sylvia.

 

“Your shirt is filthy.” She slowly whispered, gulping down the water Bucky offered her.

 

“I’m sorry.” He began but a look from her made him shut his mouth.

 

“It’s not your fault. Wouldn’t you done the same thing for me?” She asked and he found himself nodding.

 

“What are friends for, right?” Her small smile managed to relax him a little bit as he leaned back on his chair, his hand still holding hers.

 

“We’re friends?”

 

“Well, we have shared things that are too private to tell. And you call me about your nightmare so I think we’re friends. Best friends, I suppose.” She grinned.

 

“I’m glad you’re not dead. I was scared.” He confessed.

 

“Me too, Bucky. Me too.” She squeezed his hand a little and gave him a warm and sleepy smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! As promised, here's chapter 9 and I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> And also, I would love to hear from you guys so don't be a silent reader! Tell me what you think, any advice, any opinions, are greatly welcome! :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hope can be a powerful force. Maybe there's no actual magic in it, but when you know what you hope for most and hold it like a light within you, you can make things happen, almost like magic.”   
> ― Laini Taylor, Daughter of Smoke & Bone

 

After a long heated discussion, Bucky finally agreed to leave Sylvia’s room and went back to get showered and some rest. Steve promised him he will be staying with her and kept her safe while he was away. He didn’t look convinced but Steve raised his eyebrows as if to challenge him to retort. The man left a few minutes later, with some incoherent mumbling Steve suspect is curse words.

 

He sat back down at the chair next to Sylvia’s bed. She has been asleep for most of the discussion but woke up not long after Bucky left. He watched her yawned and took a look at her surrounding, as if to remind herself she is not with HYDRA. Her eyes widened for a millisecond when she saw him before giving him a small smile. He took it as a good sign. They haven’t been talking the past week and Steve didn’t like that.

 

“I need to apologize to you, Sylvia.” He began, observing the woman’s reaction.

 

When she looked at him in confusion, he continued. He told her about Bucky’s supposed death, his failure to save his best friend, his lack of persistence in finding Bucky’s body. She stayed quiet and listened to his story. He choked back on his tears when he reached the time he fought Bucky in the helicarrier, his fall and how Bucky—still in his brainwashed state—jumped to save him. His guilt eats him alive and when he found her, he made a promise not to make the same mistake twice. He told her how the avengers were pessimistic about the location of HYDRA’s base but he persisted and found her inside the lab. She tensed for a moment as she recalled the time she saw him. He gave her hand a light squeeze and told her everything he felt. His needs to protect someone, to make sure he didn’t make the same mistake, and how it made her felt suffocated and he told her how sorry he was. His eyes were teary as he kept talking, admitting the reason behind his protective tendencies, telling her that wasn’t just it. He cares about her and so do the rest of the Avengers. She didn’t say anything and quickly wiped away the tears that fell down from her eyes.

 

“You are not a monster, Sylvia. And you are our family.” Steve whispered with a pained smile.

 

“I’m sorry for destroying all of Tony’s drinking glass.” She mumbled, not knowing what to say after the whole confession.

 

“He would let you do it again if you’ll forgive him.” Steve let out a small laugh and gently caresses her hair.

 

“Do you think I will ever remember the whole thing?” She asked him after a long silence.

 

“I don’t know. Dr. Banner said there’s a good chance you will regain your memory. It could be a painful process and we were worried how you’re going to take it.”

 

She nodded and closed her eyes, feeling the morphine working. Steve leaned back on his chair and read his book while she slept.

 

* * * * *

 

 

Bucky went back the next day. He brought a sketchbook, a paper bag filled with breads—courtesy of Clint Barton, her phone, a laptop, and its charger—Tony insisted Bucky to bring it to her and to text him if she wants to. Steve ate breakfast with them before he was called for duty. She stared at the man next to her, slowly chewing his bread while watching a movie they had played on her laptop.

 

“Bucky?” the latter responded with a humming noise, too focused on the movie.

 

“Can I ask you a favor?” That got his attention.

 

He turned to her and watched her fidgeted on her bed. They have taken out the bullet and send it to Banner to be examined since it managed to stop her power. She has slowly regained her power, allowing herself to stop the pain in her abdomen.

 

“Will you teach me some self-defense skill?” her question threw him off and he choked on his water, causing the latter to frowned in confusion.

 

“Why me?” He asked.

 

“Well, you can fight. I have a feeling if I asked one of the Avengers, they’re going to say no and told me to just stay inside the tower.” She mumbled.

 

He watched her looked down her lap and let out a small sigh.

 

“Fine. But complete recovery is in order.” He told her.

 

“Yes, sarge.” She gave him a small wink, replied with a small chuckle before they were both engrossed in the movie.

 

* * * * *

 

Natasha was impressed by Sylvia’s ability to try to keep up with Bucky Barnes’ lesson. She had popped out while they were in training, observing their interaction for a good hour before leaving them, a smirk planted on her face. Bucky Barnes has proved to be a good man, helping Sylvia with her short-lasting physiotherapy, joking around with the woman when they started their training two weeks later. She didn’t know Sylvia and Bucky could laugh that much. The soft and warm smiles they gave each other, even if they don’t realize it, didn’t escape her eyes either. Tony was surprisingly supportive of this so-called training. She will never forget Tony’s face when he saw Bucky resting his head on the side of her bed, ignoring the discomfort and slowly opened his eyes to watched her sleeping face for a short moment before going back to sleep. Tony was rendered speechless at the sight, looking at Nat for help.

 

“People made mistakes. He clearly is trying to be a good man and I think that’s enough.” She had told him when he asked about her take on Bucky.

 

Nat followed Tony to the private room and was once again frozen in shock when Bucky jumped out of his seat and went to him to apologize about his wrongdoings to his parents. He was ready to chewed him out, ready to accuse him but ended up telling the man that it wasn’t his fault and that he also made some grave mistakes and that they were both trying to do the right thing now. Natasha recalled a tear brimming in Tony’s eyes as Bucky said thank you.

 

Natasha went back to her quarter and found Clint and Thor sitting on her couch, munching on popcorns, their eyes glued to her flat screen TV.

 

“Don’t you guys have your own TV?” She asked, plopping down beside Clint and grabbed a handful of popcorn.

            

“We broke ours and Tony said he will not let it fixed for a few days. To teach us a lesson, I guess.” Clint shrugged.

 

“What did you do?”

 

“We are engaged in a very exciting games where I flew my mjolnir and Clint tried to hit it with his arrow.” Thor excitedly explained the ‘game’.

 

“That sounds fun. But you know what’s more fun?” She waited for their attention.

 

“Watching Bucky teaching Sylvia how to fight.” Nat watched Clint choked on his popcorn and laughed when Thor kept asking her why it was more fun than their games.

 

“She learned how to fight. Good for her!” Thor exclaimed, his face beaming with pride.

 

“What? With Bucky? She’s been spending and awful lot of time with that metal arm.” Clint grumbled.

 

“It’s like sending your daughter off with a man.” Nat said, trying to taunt Clint.

 

It obviously worked, seeing how Clint has become the older brother figure to Sylvia. He almost leaped out of the sofa and marched to the gym but was stopped by Natasha. Her glare made him sat back on the sofa, his arms crossed.

 

“You don’t disturb them, do you understand? They have been through a lot and deserve this.” She told them and Clint softened.

 

“But why him?”

 

“Bucky Barnes is a very charming man, Barton.” Nat almost laughed at Thor’s reply and Clint’s exhausted face.

 

“He is, Thor.” She smiled.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How is it!?!? :D :D
> 
> Tell me what you think in the comment! I would love to hear from you and thank you for all the kudos you have left! I hope you enjoy this story and love it as much as I love writing it :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow.”   
> ― Mary Anne Radmacher

The next four months went by like blur. Bucky has found himself getting closer with Sylvia and it scares him sometimes. Steve kept telling him it’s okay but Steve didn’t spend the last 70 years as a brainwashed assassin so he will never understand the fear of relapsing to his winter soldier times. Sylvia didn’t seem to care, showing her usual care and affection for the former assassin. They have been training and they were given permission to undergo some missions, which they did successfully under the guidance of Steve Rogers. They made a perfect pair, Nat would say, Bucky with his strength and agility, Sylvia with her brain and her manipulative power.

 

Phil Coulson, who came back from the dead and become the director of SHIELD, has asked Maria Hill for some help to track down a suspicious activity in Los Angeles and Maria, after a thoughtful exchange of opinions, decided to send Bucky and Sylvia for the mission. Bucky looked happy to be trusted this mission but Maria saw a little hesitation in Sylvia’s eyes.

 

“What’s wrong?” Maria queried, wondering why the latter looked nervous.

 

“I just—I don’t know. This scares me a little.” She replied in a timid voice, her body standing close to Bucky, the agent noted.

 

“You just need to get the sample needed and make sure they were all contained before you called us to get you.” She revised them on the mission.

 

Bucky nodded and listened to Maria Hill while stealing glances at the woman beside him. She was standing incredibly close to him; their arms touching, and he find it comforting—much to his surprise—to have her close with him. He would’ve given her a small grin and joked with her but her anxious expression made him frowned, so when the agent left them to prep themselves, he guided her to the nearest sofa and sat her down.

 

“What’s wrong? You look different.” He tried to phrase his question carefully.

 

There was a moment of silence, showing her reluctance to reply before she finally took a deep breath and stared into his eyes.

 

“I have been having weird dreams lately. The therapy didn’t work, Bucky. I kept having this flashback and I don’t know if it was real or if it was just my imagination and I’m scared something will happen. I can’t let anyone get hurt.” She confessed.

 

“What dreams?” He clenched his fists; ready to take in all the gruesome torture she went through.

 

She did, as he expected, told him about the new flashbacks of her being caught and some details in her times inside HYDRA’s lab, and she had to look away when she saw Bucky’s darkened expression.

 

“I’m sorry.” She whispered but Bucky shook his head and relaxed his hands, covering her hands with his. Her breath hitched at the contrast temperature of both his hands.

 

“This is not your fault, Sylvia.” He growled.

“I know but I can’t help feeling like I’m going to mess something up.” She groaned, burying her face on her hands.

 

He gently put his hands on her cheeks, making her look up. She saw mixed emotions in his eyes and he gave her his rare warm smile. She wanted to cry at the sight. Bucky was staring at her with so much affection and he was holding her face, which made her heart beats in erratic manner—she was sure she was about to get a heart attack.

 

“I’ll be with you and make sure it won’t happen.” He promised her.

 

* * * * *

 

Bucky and Sylvia entered the empty building with their guns ready. They had found out the building was abandoned by Hydra when it was ambushed a year ago by Steve and Tony Stark, and were tasked to do a surveillance to make sure it stays abandoned. Nat and Clint were asked to supervise the duo, watching for any activities and ready to help them from a good distance. 

 

“Do you think they’ll be okay?” Clint asked her, his eyes scanning for possible threat.

 

Natasha turned her head towards him for a mere second before she went back to Bucky and Sylvia who just updated them on their whereabouts in the building. She honestly did not know the answer to the question. Sylvia had come to her with her recurring nightmares, knowing she could handle listening to her story and also not wanting to worry the rest of the Avengers. And in the last few weeks, she has been coming more often. Natasha also knew that Sylvia was worried about her anxiety attack and even if Bucky vowed to not let anything happen, the woman was pretty anxious on this mission.

 

“I hope so.” Natasha whispered.

 

There was a loud buzzing noise in their transmitter and both of them froze, trying to make out what happened. Clint quickly scanned the area for Hydra agents while Nat tried to make sure they’re still connected to Bucky and Sylvia. The buzzing noise was soon replaced with Bucky’s panicked voice.

 

“Natasha.”

 

“Bucky? What happened?”

 

“She’s having a full blown panic attack. This is not good. You guys need to come down here. There are a few Hydra agents and scientists. We’ve put down some of them but I need to make sure she is okay and I can’t do both at the same time.” Bucky’s voice was desperate.

 

“We’ll be there. Send in your location.” She talked through her earpiece and Clint quickly started the car, speeding towards the building.

 

“What happened? What panic attack?!” Clint shouted at her while Nat shot half a dozen agents trying to aim their weapon towards them while ducking to avoid their bullets.

 

Clint’s question was soon answered when they jumped out of the car and entered a small room. Sylvia was lying in a fetal position while Bucky crouched in front of her, his weapon ready.

 

“They’re gone. How is she?” She saw Bucky relaxed at the sight of them, though his eyes still expressed the worry he has for Sylvia.

 

He put his right hand on Sylvia’s shoulder, trying to whisper comforting words and Clint was quite taken aback by the gentle gesture. He has heard from Natasha and Steve Rogers about Bucky’s change in attitude when it comes to Sylvia but seeing them interacts is a different story. He stayed rooted and watched for any incoming enemies while Nat approached the woman.

 

“Sylvia?”

 

“I want to go home.” Sylvia kept whimpering, her hands clutching on to Bucky’s metal arm.

 

“We need to finish this mission, okay? Tell me what happened.” She looked at Bucky.

 

“The labs. There were…” Bucky cleared his throat, “experiments. Human experiments. It triggered a panic attack. It was awful, Natasha.”

 

“Dammit. I thought they were experimenting on new weapons.” Natasha let out a string of curse in Russian before getting on her feet.

 

“You wait here while I called the team to get inside. Did you get the flash drive?” She waited for Bucky to nod and tossed her a small flash drive before nodding in approval.

 

“Clean up team should be here soon. We need to get you out of here. Maria Hill is not going to be happy if she hears about this.” Clint told them after he talked to the back up team through the earpiece.

 

Bucky let Natasha guided Sylvia out while he and Clint had their respective weapons ready. The car was not in its best condition; there were bullet holes on one side and Bucky let out a small chuckle when Clint mumbled out his annoyance.

 

“Let’s go guys.” Clint forced a grin, cracking out some jokes to lighten up the mood while they went back to the tower.

 

Bucky noticed Sylvia’s faint smile at the back as Clint guffawed at his own joke, much to Natasha’s disapproval.

 

* * * * *

 

Maria Hill is not a lenient person. She has struggled through male-dominated work field, from getting herself a position as S.H.I.E.L.D director to working for Tony Stark and supervising the Avengers. So went the news of Sylvia having a panic attack during a mission, almost jeopardizing the whole operation, she was not happy. She sat on her leather seat, watching the woman in front of her looked down on her lap. Sylvia was quickly taken to a small meeting room after she found out about the incident.

 

“So, about your last mission…” she started, noticing the man standing right outside the glass tensed.

 

“I was at fault. I shouldn’t panicked and I’m sorry.” Sylvia quickly said.

 

“Do you know how many lives were at stakes in here? You were lucky agent Barnes is ready to protect you and capable of putting down Hydra while getting you to a safe place. But what if it wasn’t him? You could’ve killed your partner.” Maria Hill reprimanded her.

 

“I know. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

 

“Sorry is not enough, Winters. Your action has proved to be a liability to the team.” Maria Hill spoke out, her voice even and neutral despite the glare she’s receiving from Bucky.

 

“This is not her fault.” The glass door was opened and Bucky strode inside, growling at her.

 

“Bucky—“ Sylvia looked up exasperatedly.

 

“This is not your damn fault. Do you know what is in there?” Maria shook her head at his question, “There are bodies on the operation tables. They were all cut open, some of them are still breathing, and I swear I heard one of them begged me to kill him. They were tortured and God knows what HYDRA is doing to them before that. It was not her fault that the sight of these… victims triggered a panic attack.” Bucky finished, clearly frustrated. Maria watched the two exchanged looks and let out a huge sigh.

 

“You are not to go for mission until the therapist says you’re ready for it. There will be a lot of therapy session you will have to attend and I want you to not skip any of it or I will know and I will personally dragged you there. I have also arranged a meeting with Charles Xavier. I will send you the details and I expect your presence on the day of the meeting. Do you understand?”

 

The surprised look on Sylvia’s face and Bucky’s relieved expression did not escape her eyes. She noted Sylvia’s hand on Bucky’s metal arm and how the man did not even flinched at the touch as the woman thanked her. Both of them excused themselves and walked out, talking to each other in a low voice. She looked at them in confusion when Bucky let out a small groan and turned to her.

 

“What is it?”

 

“Thank you.” He mumbled and quickly dragged Sylvia out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A tad long update :)
> 
> tell me what you think in the comment! I would love to hear from you guys so don't be a silent reader :3
> 
> enjoy!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.”   
> ― Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever

She should’ve been used to the sight. She was once there and she couldn’t understand how it can still affect her. The sights were not the worst part, she thought, it was the thoughts that got into her that drives her mad. Bucky was frozen in shock for a while before continuing to transfer all data to the flash drive. She kept looking at him, wondering if she’s really the only one hearing all the noises. It was then she realized these people are not dead. She didn’t remember much after that. The noises become too much for her to handle. There are things she cannot shut out, and the screaming plea is one of them. Everything turns black and she can only feel Bucky’s warm hand touching her shoulder and she tried to focus on his voice, letting the voice dimmed out in the background. When she can finally open her eyes, she realized she has been gripping on Bucky’s metal arm tightly and the man did not even say anything—a huge change from the first time she touched his arm—and continued to help her up, talking to Natasha and Clint who has come to their rescue.

 

She remembered bits and pieces of their return trip. Bucky protectively held her, which she appreciated more each day. Natasha and Clint didn’t say anything and she knows they stole a glance or two at them. Steve was there when they land, his face a mixture of worry and frustration and she almost laughed at his struggle to say something when Bucky shoot him a glare. He ended up helping her to her room while Bucky get himself cleaned up and changed.

 

“What happened, Sylv?” Steve gave her a sad smile as she lie on her bed.

 

She shook her head and let out the tears that have been threatening to come out. Steve moved closer and put his arms around her. He glanced at the door and found Bucky leaning on the doorframe with a broken smile on his face.

 

“You smell different.” She mumbled after while.

 

“Hm?” She pulled away with a confused look on her face. Bucky sat on the other side of the bed, offering her a glass of water.

 

“You smell flowery.” She scrunched her nose and her eyes widened when she saw a faint blush on his cheeks.

 

“Did you meet someone?” She whispered.

 

Bucky leaned in and waited for his best friend to say something. Steve’s face reddened as he nodded with a sheepish smile on his face, wincing a little at the squeal Sylvia managed to let out. She was about to pester him with more questions but was cut by Natasha who informed them of Maria Hill’s request to see her in the meeting room.

 

“It’s good, Steve. Meeting someone new.” Sylvia gave him her megawatt smile before she left with Bucky.

 

* * * * *

 

“Why do you do that?” Sylvia asked Bucky when they were out of the meeting room.

 

“Do what?” Bucky gave her a strange look.

 

“Why do you say all that things? You don’t have to, you know.” She looked up and gave him a small smile.

 

“I know.” He waited a moment before he continues, “I want to.”

 

“Why?” Bucky just shrugged when she turned to him with a confused look.

 

“Come on, we still have to ask Steve about the girl he met.” He quickly changed the topic, successfully turning Sylvia’s curiosity to his best friend.

 

* * * * *

 

Steve was about to exit the library when he saw a woman appeared from behind one of the bookshelves, looking confused and he quickly approached her when he saw her bleeding arms.

 

“Are you alright mam?” he quietly asked.

 

“Yeah. Just a little disoriented.” She looked up and let out a small squeak.

 

“Your arm is bleeding.” He pointed out. He heard her let out a silent curse as she pressed her hand on the wound to stop the bleeding.

 

“I’ll be fi—“ She was about to say but the blood loss seemed to take an effect on her. She fell forwards and Steve was quick enough to grab her shoulders and propped her up.

 

“I’ll take you to a hospital.” He gave her a smile when she tried to protest and almost fell down for the second time.

 

She looked at him, as if realizing who the man in front of her was and gave him a nod, her body perfectly tucked under Steve’s towering figure.

 

“I’m Eva.” She spoke out when she hopped into Steve’s bike.

 

“I’m Steve.”

 

“I know.” She gave him a small grin.

 

“Is it that obvious?”

 

“I’m just good at memorizing faces.”

 

* * * * *

 

Eva, as Steve expected, requires some stitches for her wound and being the gentleman that he is, he waited for her while she talked to the doctor. She seemed shocked when she found him still sitting on the waiting room. They did have a great chemistry while they converse but Steve supposed she wasn’t expecting a stranger would be waiting for her in this 21st century. Steve was grateful he was taught to be a good gentleman when he saw her smiling face as she exited the doctor’s room.

 

“Thank you, Steve.” Eva said, curling her dark blonde hair behind her ear.

 

They were standing outside the small hospital, both wondering what to do next. The silence was cut by Eva’s stomach. She gave him a sheepish smile when Steve raised his eyebrows.

 

“I haven’t eaten since yesterday.” She grinned.

 

“I could take you to a diner?” He said, blushing a little when he saw her smile. She didn’t tease him about it and he had to resist the urge to thank her out loud.

 

“Yeah. That’d be great.”

 

* * * * *

 

Steve tried to tell Sylvia that nothing else happened but she seemed so adamant on thinking he was having a great date with Eva. Bucky wasn’t being a helpful friend, either. He stood with a bottle of beer on his hand, chuckling at Sylvia’s attempt to make Steve call the woman.

 

“I’m not going to just ask her out, Sylvia. We just met.” He said for the hundredth time.

 

“But she seemed nice! Or you could take her here? I want to see her!” her eyes brightened at the idea that just popped into her head.

 

“What if Bucky likes her better than you?” Steve gave Sylvia a teasing grin and laughed when Sylvia looked torn at his question. Bucky chocked on his beer and almost threw the bottle at Steve who just laughed harder.

 

“He can’t!” “I won’t like her.”  Both of them said at the same time and blushed when they made eye contact.

 

“You have a lot to talk about before you can tease me about Eva.” Steve patted both of their shoulders, muttering a ‘good luck’ at Bucky before he left Sylvia’s living room.

 

“So…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of Steve! And tell me what you think!! leave a comment or kudos if you'd like! I'd love to hear from you guys!!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There is a man who would give his life to keep a life you love beside you.”  
> ― Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

Bucky stayed rooted on his position, his eyes following Steve as he left the apartment, leaving both of them in a very awkward situation. Sylvia looked like she’s about to cry in embarrassment and Bucky had a sense that he should probably give Steve a good punch when this is all over. He finally snapped out of his thoughts when he heard her calling his name.

 

“I won’t like her, you know.” He mumbled, watching her eyes widened and her cheeks pinked.

 

“That’s… nice to hear.” She nodded and Bucky had to resist the urge to chuckle at the sight.

 

“Well, the girl that I’m in love with told me I can’t like her so I had to do it, right?” He grinned and finally let out a bark of laugh when she nodded and suddenly looked up in shock.

 

“What did you say?” Her blue eyes pierced him.

 

“I’m not going to say it again.” His smile disappeared when he didn’t hear her response.

 

“Do you mean that?” She asked. Bucky shrugged and looked away from her. She stood in front of him, trying to get him to look at her.

 

“Bucky, do you mean it?” she whispered and Bucky’s eyes went to lips for a mere second, nodding with closed eyes.

 

His eyes snapped open when he felt her warm lips on his. It was a short kiss but it was enough answer. She stared at him with a small smile and his hands went to her cheeks, cupping it before bringing her closer to him. He kissed her again, this time longer and more passionate, as if trying to convey all the feelings he’s been trying to suppress all these times. He smiled into the kiss when her hands went around his neck, pulling him closer. They broke the kiss after a short while, their faces flushed into a pleasant shade of pink, smiles etched on their faces.

 

“I love you too, Bucky Barnes.” Her voice sounds like music in his ears and he bent down to give her a chaste kiss.

 

“You don’t know how happy I am to hear that.”

 

“We should probably thank Steve for this.” She pulled away from the kiss and rested her head on his broad chest. He wrapped his arms around her and made a humming noise.

 

“He’s going to be a pain in the ass.” He mumbled into his hair, smiling when she laughed at his remark.

 

“Yeah, he probably will be.”

 

* * * * *

Clint Barton was the first one to know about their new relationships. He was quite ecstatic, claiming he played an important role in helping them get together. Sylvia didn’t want to ruin his happy mood and let him skipped away from her apartment with a huge proud smile on his face. Bucky rolled his eyes when Clint told them he was the deciding vote when they were discussing about Bucky’s move to the tower. Natasha, who appeared not long after she got an unintelligible call from the Hawkeye, snorted and told them how Clint was the first one who said yes and she was the deciding vote. She gave Sylvia a tight hug, whispering congratulation and went to Bucky with a threat not to hurt the woman she considered a family. There had been a lot of crying from Sylvia when she heard it. Bucky was more than glad to have Bruce and Thor acted like adults with the news.

 

Steve, on the other hand, was quite bummed out to find he was the fifth person to find out how their conversations turned out, much to Bucky’s delight. The man seemed to forget about it after a good minute and gave Bucky a good slap in the back, almost knocking him off his footing. Sylvia received a bone-crushing hug from the captain himself and successfully embarrassed him when she told Bucky what’s on Steve’s mind.

 

“Of course, you would’ve claimed you played an important role as well.” Bucky grumbled.

 

“Well, I did bring out the topic.” He gave his best friend a grin.

 

“Jerk.” “Punk”

 

The merry mood didn’t last very long. Tony Stark, a former playboy who is now a devoted man to Pepper Potts, had just came back from an exhausting mission when he found out about Bucky and Sylvia. He visited Sylvia’s place and found Bucky’s jacket draped on the sofa. He gave it a long hard stare, clearly not happy with the news. Sylvia was about to greet the man when she heard his thoughts. She stopped and crossed her arms, showing Tony her angry face.

 

“Don’t you dare, Tony,” Bucky stood up from his bed when he heard her voice.

 

He listened the woman he has come to love speak out for him, throwing back remarks when Tony said something about him and he felt a sense of gratitude at her gesture. He knew Tony was still bitter about what he did to his parents and Bucky couldn’t blame the man for that, heck, Bucky still think he’s a monster and held more vile thoughts on himself than the billionaire. Sylvia’s presence annihilated all those thoughts. She was protective of him and he knew she has gotten into a fight with some agents when they had say something about him. He blinked his eyes and observed the glare exchange between the two.

 

“Oh wow. You made a lot of mistakes and you didn’t see me marching around and reminding you of your past, don’t you?” She seethed when she read Tony’s thought.

 

“Look, Tony. I know may have done a lot of horrible things in the past but that was not him.” He heard her tried to explain.

 

“You have lost your mind, Sylvia.” Tony darted his glance back to Sylvia.

 

“Tony, I love him.” Sylvia whispered. She knew she didn’t need anyone’s permission to be with Bucky but Tony has been nothing but a protective figure for her and she didn’t want him to resent her.

 

“No you don’t. You need a better man, not this killer.” Tony’s stubbornness finally made her snap. Bucky winced at Tony’s description of him.

 

“Get the fuck out of my place, Tony.” She glared.

 

“This is my tower.” Tony retorted.

 

“Fine. I’m leaving. You treated Bucky like he’s a monster, clearly forgetting that he had his memory wiped out. I don’t even understand how you can be so cruel. Bucky was just right there—“ she pointed at the bedroom where he just napped, “and you blabbered all those things like it’s no big deal.”

 

“Sylvia—“

 

“Thank you for what you have done for me. Goodbye Tony.” Bucky heard her footsteps coming closer. She pushed open the door and Bucky jumped from the bed to pull her into a hug when she started to cry.

 

“That’s not fair.” She said and Bucky wrapped his arms around her tighter.

 

“It’s okay, Sylvia.”

 

“No, it’s not! You are not a monster, Bucky.” She looked up at him with tear stained face.

 

“I know. But I killed his parents, Sylvia and it’s hard to look past that.” Bucky tried to reason with her. He did understand how Tony must have felt and he has let Tony be, knowing that he deserved it after what he has done. She didn’t say anything and Bucky knew there’s nothing he can do but to wait it out. He led her out of the room and into the living room.

 

“I’ll get some water.” He said and felt her hand on his.

 

“Can’t we just cuddle and stay here for a while?” She asked.

 

“I thought you’d never ask.” He gave her a lopsided smile, plopping down on the couch and let her scoot over and leaned on his chest. He wrapped his right arm around her and used his left hand to gently brushed her hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm doing a double update! Tell me what you think in the comments below :)
> 
> enjoy!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I nod, understanding the unspoken message: No matter what, he will never stop looking out for me. I can't argue with him about that, after all, I feel the same way.”   
> ― J. Kenner, Complete Me

 

They had been snuggling together for a few hours; dozing off in each others’ arm when they heard a knocking on the door and Jarvis’ voice telling them of Tony’s arrival.

 

“I don’t want to talk to him.” She mumbled into his chest.

 

“You have to, Sylvia. He loves you, you know. And I know you care about him. Hopefully not more than me.” He grinned as he saw her let out a small laughter.

 

“Go. He must’ve felt bad.” He kissed her forehead.

 

“Fine.” She got up from the couch and smoothened out her shirt.

 

“I’m going back to my place first, okay? Call me when you need anything.” He kissed her again and walked towards the door.

 

“Tony.” He greeted, letting the man enter her apartment.

 

“Barnes.” Bucky heard him grumbled and he saw Pepper standing near the elevator with her arms crossed.

 

“Hey, Pepper.” Bucky smiled as he stepped out of the apartment.

 

“Bucky. I’ve heard about it. Congratulations. Don’t mind Tony. He thinks Sylvia is his daughter and must be protected from everyone.” She said with her usual big smile. Bucky almost hugged her for knocking some sense into Tony.

 

* * * * *

 

Tony stormed into his place, stopping when he saw Pepper standing in the kitchen. She was wearing her usual white shirt and short jeans. Her smile turned to frown when she saw his expression. She gave the man a quick kiss on the lips and guided him to the living room.

 

“What’s wrong? You look worked up.” She touched his arm.

 

He took a deep breath, letting it out in a shaky manner before he told her about Sylvia and Bucky, scowling when he saw Pepper’s face brightened.

 

“Please don’t tell me you just came from her place and fought with her over her choice?” Pepper said.

 

“I did.” He stared at Pepper’s face and stood up, “I had to protect her! Bucky is The Winter Soldier and he killed my parents, Pepper. What makes you think he won’t go back to his old ways? God knows what HYDRA did to him.”

  
“Oh, Tony.”

 

“I just don’t want her to get hurt. She was a wreck when she got here and now she’s this, happy kid that I have come to care a lot and I don’t want to see her sad.” Tony spoke out. Pepper pulled him back to the couch and held his hands.

 

“Do you remember when you asked me why Bucky never said anything or get mad when you throw some insults at him?” she looked at him, waiting for his nod.

 

“Do you know why?”

 

“Why?”

 

“He felt guilty, Tony. That’s not Hydra. That’s Bucky Barnes, Steve’s best friend. He came to me once and asked me if he could do anything so you would forgive him. I have never even talked to him before and to be honest, I was scared when JARVIS told me he wanted to see me. You need to remember that he was made weapon by HYDRA, forced to kill people and now he has to live with that memories. He is trying to be a better man and Sylvia is making him a better man.” She softly spoke.

 

“I hate it when you do that.” Tony mumbled.

 

“Do what?”

 

“Say things that makes sense. I just—I don’t know. I guess I have grown to be very protective of her.” He said and smiled when he heard her laughter.

 

“This is why I managed the Stark Industries, Tony.” She winked, getting out of her seat to grab a bottle of wine and two glasses.

 

“I think I’m going to go back there to say sorry.” He said.

 

“Give her a few hours to calm down.”  She handed him a glass and gulped down hers.

 

“I love you, Pepper. Even when you successfully manipulate me. I just hope she won’t hate me.” He said.

 

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic, Tony. She must’ve really cared about you if she wanted your ‘approval’.” Pepper rolled her eyes.

 

* * * * *

 

“Sylvia.” Tony said, his eyes watching her stoic expression.

 

“If you want to say more things about Bucky, you can leave now.”

 

“No. I just—I was out of line. I’m sorry.” Tony looked into her eyes. She looked taken aback with his apology and took a few steps closer.

 

She was reading his mind; Tony thought and smiled when he saw her rolled her eyes.

 

“You know I care about you a lot, Tony. And I know your parents’ death was horrible and I wish I could change it but I can’t. And Bucky is really trying to redeem his past mistakes—or more likely Hydra’s crimes.” She trailed off.

 

“I know. Pepper was quite vocal about it.” Tony grinned and let out a huge breath of relief when she wrapped her arms around him.

 

“Bucky really likes you, you know. He said you are a great mechanics. Hydra would’ve paid no attention on his wellbeing when they tinkered with him but you did, even when you hated him.” She mumbled.

 

“What can I say? I’m quite irresistible.”

 

“Shut up, Tony.” Tony laughed and hugged her tighter for a moment before pulling away.

 

“Tell me if he hurt you. I’ll blast him off with my suit.” He said after a moment of silence.

 

“You can get in line. Natasha called dibs.” She grinned at him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! how is it going?
> 
> what do you think so far? I hope you are still enjoying this story :D


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “there really is a place where kisses taste like apple pie and where stars spill like sugar across the sky.”   
> ― Nina Lane

Bucky stayed in his place for a good hour or two until he heard JARVIS' voice informing him of Sylvia’s presence outside. He turned down the volume of the TV- not that he was paying attention to it- and walked up to the front door, greeting his new girlfriend with a kiss on her forehead and a hug. Her eyes still red and swollen from crying but he was glad she now had a smile on her face. Tony emerged out from her place and gave him a small nod. He replied with a smile. Tony was not big on apologies, especially to him and the small nods was a sign he's willing to get all this behind them. He focused his attention on her again and led her inside. She was exhausted, her eyes quickly closed when they get comfortable on the couch. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer before he dozed off.

                                                          

The whole avengers seemed to be in a merry mood throughout the rest of the week. Tony was very supportive of the relationship, much to everyone’s surprises. He wasn’t all smiley and bright when Bucky was around but he did start greeting the man whenever they met, which were a huge progress. Bucky was always ready with his death glare for those who tried to tease Sylvia and Steve had to learn the hard way when he attempted to embarrassed her and end up tackled to the floor by Bucky.

 

“We’ve never been this relaxed before.” Nat spoke up.

 

They were all gathered in the Avengers room, the floor that was used as Tony’s home until the attack in New York. Nat noticed the only two missing are Thor and Bruce. Thor was visiting his dear Jane, trying to coax her to live in the tower while Bruce was busy with his experiments in the lab.

 

“Yeah. It’s actually pretty nice.” Clint nodded. “Though a bit unsettling.” He added.

 

She nodded in agreement and looked around, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. She blinked her eyes a few times as if she was just woken from a sleep.

 

“Where is Bucky and Sylvia?”

 

“They were on a date. You didn’t know that?” Clint jabbed his thumb to the window.

 

“What? I just saw them sitting there!” Steve looked around.

 

“She was getting good at manipulating our mind.” Tony shook his head, trying to get rid whatever thoughts she was putting inside his head.

 

“Too good.” Nat mumbled, her worry didn’t escape Sam Wilson’s ears.

 

* * * * *

 

Sylvia smiled as they left the elevator with Bucky holding her hand.

 

“You look happy.” Bucky noted.

 

“I am. I managed to trick them to think we were there.” She smiled.

 

He smiled back at her. They went back to Bucky’s place and decided to get cozy on the carpeted floor. Bucky leaned back to the couch while she rested her head on his laps, her eyes focused on the notebook Loki gave her few weeks ago when he went to visit. It was filled with theories on mutants and what she may be able to do in the future. He didn’t dare to see her eyes but she didn’t mind. She knew he was worried for her when he muttered ‘take care’ before he left her with his notes.

 

“Loki gave you this?” Bucky’s metal fingers brushed her hair while he changed the channel on the TV.

 

“Yeah. He’s pretty nice. He wrote all these for me.” She showed him Loki’s neat handwriting and sketches.

 

“Does this mean you could get back your own memory?” He asked when he read a paragraph on how powerful the ability to manipulate thoughts can be.

 

“Maybe. I feel a bit uncomfortable about it though.” She put down her book and looked at his concerned eyes.

 

“Did you have more nightmares?”

 

“No, I just—There were some flashbacks. It wasn’t as scary as before. But it makes me sick and I just thought it would be best not to remember any of it.”

 

“I had this flashback about Steve being beaten up in an alley. Steve said he got beaten up in alley a lot.” Bucky told her with a fond smile.

 

“You must be annoyed he got into the army and was injected with the serum.” She softly said.

 

“Well, I guess. I mean, from what I can remember, I was always protecting him and to see him in a freaking army was quite a shock.” He chuckled.

 

“My parents left me. That was what I remembered.” She quietly said after a long silence.

 

“They were scared, I guess. I just remembered their backs as they left me in an orphanage.”

 

“Good God. How old were you?”

 

“I don’t know. 5?” She smiled when she saw Bucky’s sad face. She put her hand on his cheek.

 

“I’m fine now. It didn’t hurt now. I just don’t like having to remember so many bitter things.” She told him and gave him a chaste kiss when he didn’t say anything.

 

“Did you remember more about your time in Hydra?” Bucky carefully asked.

 

She looked at him for a moment before she nodded.

 

“I kept seeing this flashback about seeing you get wiped. It was horrible but Bruce told me some ways to calm myself down when I panicked and it helped.” She answered.

 

“You were always there too. In my flashbacks.” Bucky mumbled.

 

“Two peas in a pod.” She grinned.

 

He chuckled and kissed her forehead before resuming his movie, letting her concentrate on her book.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little short compared to the previous chapters but i hope you guys like it :D  
> tell me what you think in the comments!!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The longer it takes me to track you down, the more hope you have of escaping.”   
> ― Peter Watts, Blindsight

 

Their new ‘home’ was the small building masked as a storage house. No one walked there except for a few homeless people who didn’t know any better. They quickly walked as far as they can when they saw combat uniformed guards with cutting-edge riffles. It was a perfect hiding place and a strategic location to spy on the Avengers. There was a huge window facing the city at the top floor of the building. It gave a perfect view to the Avengers tower and with some telescope; it would be more than easy to see through the clear windows of the building.

 

The man standing by the window looked up from the telescope, his lips pursed into a thin line. He was not more than 50 years old. His straight posture and his stoic face gave an intimidating aura as he paced around the room. He stopped when the door to his office was opened, revealing a middle-aged man with white hair, his white coat made a slight swooshing noise as he entered the room.

 

“Any news?” The younger man asked.

 

“They haven’t been out of the tower for months without any Avengers. It is possible that they think their relationship might put them at risk. Rumlow wanted to plan an attack but I fear it will not work well.”

 

“And what do you suggest, Doctor?”

 

“Distract them. The Winter Soldier seems to have develops an attachment. It will be easy to get him through her. We just need to distract them from each other and from the Avengers. We can plan a secret ambush and took her. There’s less risk of getting caught. We can take down an Avenger or two and get her to come with us.”

 

“As expected from my best companion. I want The Winter Soldier and the woman soon, Doctor List. It would be best if your plan is done as soon as possible.” the man gave him a wicked smile.

 

“Of course, Strucker. I will inform the agents and we’ll get on it.” The doctor nodded and quickly left the room.

 

 

* * * * *

 

Bucky’s grip on her hand tightened as he looked around with wary eyes. Sylvia looked up with worry.

 

“You okay, Bucky?” She asked.

 

“Yeah, doll. Let’s go. Tony and Clint are waiting for us.” He gave her a small smile.

 

“We could go home if you don’t feel well.” She told him.

 

“I’ll be fine. I just thought someone was watching us.”

 

She didn’t say anything more and decided to let it go. Bucky seemed to be willing to go out and went on a date with her, their second date in the months they’ve been dating. It was hard to get out of the building without anyone’s supervision, mostly because Nat swore she saw a hydra agent a few months ago.

 

They were supposed to meet up with Tony and Clint to get dinner after the date when she heard a crashing sound. Bucky’s eyes widened in alert as he pushed her away from the incoming gunshots. Clint sprinted out of the diner with Tony behind him, eyes wide in shock.

 

“What the hell happened?!” Tony tried to call JARVIS to dispatch his suit while Clint tried to find Bucky and Sylvia among the crowd.

 

“Stay here.” Bucky pulled her into a small alley and hide her behind the boxes.

 

“What? Bucky, is that Hydra?” She whispered, panic etched in her voice.

 

“I need you to calm down and shoot anyone who tried to harm you, or use your abilities to put the down. Do you understand?” He put a small gun on her palm.

 

She nodded and felt his lips on her forehead before he stood up.

 

“I’ll distract them. You need to make sure it’s safe before you go to Clint and Tony, okay? They’re across the street. Okay, doll?” He looked at her and waited for her nod before he smiled.

 

“Be careful, Bucky.” She gave him a hug and quickly went back into hiding.

 

“You too.” And he was gone.

 

She could hear the exchange of gunshots and tried to focus herself to gather the thoughts of people near the alley. When she didn’t hear any threatening thoughts, she pulled herself up and quickly scrambled across the street, her eyes wildly scanning her surrounding to locate her boyfriend and her friends.

 

“Bucky!” She stopped in the middle of the street when she saw him fell down after someone hit him with Taser rods.

 

“Sylvia, run!” Bucky turned to her and she projected her power to the man who tried to hurt Bucky and flung him onto a brick wall.

 

“Are you kidding me?!” She scrambled towards him, helping him up.

 

“They’re going to get you.” He groaned in pain as they crossed the street and let out a curse when they couldn’t find Tony and Clint.

 

“And you too!” She snapped back and let out a scream when she felt a stinging pain on her right abdomen.

 

Bucky looked down at her and felt her body slowly slumped to the ground. He looked back to find Rumlow grinning at him, his gun pointed at her.

 

“Get down, Winter Soldier or the next bullet will go through her heart.” He walked closer.

 

 Bucky growled and was about to pull the trigger towards Rumlow when a bullet grazed his thigh.

 

“Where’s the taser? Ah, doesn’t it feel familiar?” Rumlow’s wicked grin and Sylvia’s unconscious body in his arms was the last thing he remembered before he blacked out.

 

* * * * *

 

“Fuck.” Clint groaned when they managed to get up after almost blown out by Hydra.

 

He grabbed his handgun and started shooting at the Hydra agents while Tony ducked behind a flipped truck. He turned to the screaming voice and got one of Hawkeye’s handgun to shoot the man standing above his unconscious friends across the road.

 

“They got Bucky and Sylvia. Dammit! JARVIS! My suit!” Tony gritted his teeth when a bullet almost hit him.

 

“Shit. Shit. Shit. Where’s everybody?!” Clint shot an incoming agent and motioned Tony to follow him to a closer hideout.

 

“They are on their way, sir. It seems to me that they are interrupted by Hydra agents.” Jarvis voice made them shouted a colorful curse words.

 

“We just need to get her and Bucky to safety. Is that Rumlow? What the hell, I thought he was dead!” Clint shouted, trying to aim his gun towards the man.

 

“There’s too many of them.” Tony said.

 

“No shit, Sherlock.” Clint rolled his eyes, letting out another string of curse words when HYDRA agents surrounded them.

 

“I’ll just borrow them for a while, guys. Nice meeting you all.” Rumlow jabbed his thumb towards Bucky and Sylvia who were successfully lifted into a black van.

 

“Should we kill them, sir?” one of the agent asked.

 

“Yes.” Rumlow said after a moment of silence and quickly left the scene, leaving Tony and Clint on the side of the road.

 

“Hail Hydra.” One of the agent pulled up the gun.

 

“JARVIS?”  


“Incoming, sir.”  There was a loud wheezing noise and Clint let out a bark of laughter when the suits managed to knocked down a couple of agents.

 

“ah, that’s better. Oh, look. Jarvis brought your bow.” Tony tossed Clint his bow and arrows.

 

“That’s more like it.” Clint smirked.

 

They managed to quickly put down the rest of the HYDRA, leaving them with the realization that their friends were taken.

 

“JARVIS. I need you to track down the van.” Tony spoke to his intercom.

 

“I fear it may not be possible sir. It seems to me they have switched car. The previous van exploded a few block from your location.”

 

“Dammit.” Clint muttered.

 

“We should get back to the tower and come up with a plan.” Tony spoke out.

 

“They better not hurt them. I will put an arrow through their eyes if anything happened to Bucky and Sylvia.” Clint said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's getting pretty nasty
> 
>  
> 
> I'm going to post the next chapter in the next few days so tune in!  
> leave your thoughts in the comment :D :D


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The only honorable, desirable kind of fear that shouldn't be feared is the fear of harm on a loved one. It's the kind of fear that leads to self-sacrifice and the kind of fear where you would truly jump in front of a bus to save another.”   
> ― Criss Jami, Diotima, Battery, Electric Personality

Her eyes fluttered open and she let out a soft groan when she felt a dull aching on her waist. Hydra’s modified tranquilizer gun that hit her seemed to cause some bruising and she didn’t know whether she should be annoyed or impressed by their dedication to create a tranquilizer for her. She scanned the room, quickly went into panic mode when she felt the familiar restraints around her ankles and wrists. She was back in the familiar lab, the smell of chemical and a hint metallic smell made her nauseous.

 

“Ah, the runaway has awoken.” A deep male voice caused her to snapped her head towards the door.

 

She stayed silent and watched the man walked over to her with his hands behind his back, a malicious smile planted on his face. She has seen him before during her wiping process, she realized and she forced herself to stay calm.

 

“We’ve been trying very hard to get in touch with you, miss Winters.” Wolfgang von Strucker clicked his tongue as he observed the machine around her bed.

 

She took a sharp breath when she felt a jolt of electricity ran through her body. She gritted her teeth, trying to use her power. A string of cursed escaped her lips when she realized they have done something to her.

 

“Your new… family, how are they treating you?” Strucker pulled a chair and sat next to her bed.

 

“Like a human being.” She hissed.

 

Sylvia heard him laughed. “Oh, yes. But here, we see you as a special being, Miss Winters. You are not just a human being. You are a great asset and your contribution for HYDRA will be very appreciated.”

 

“What are you going to do to me now?” She asked, finding her will to escape slowly dissolving.

 

“Give you a good wipe. You don’t need unnecessary memory. It will be easier for you to focus with a blank memory. ” He shrugged.

 

“I will not be an asset for you, Strucker. Not anymore.” Sylvie told him.

 

“Oh, but you will if I told you what I have in exchange.” Her eyes snapped open and she felt her heart stop.

 

“No.” She whispered.

 

“Your… lover is in the next room, ready to resume his ‘occupation’ as The Winter Soldier, assuming you will not offer your expertise to us.” Strucker clicked on a remote and let her see the view on the next room through the one-way glass.

 

Bucky was lying still on the chair, his wrists and body strapped to the chair. The wiping device placed on his head, ready to be used and she felt a twist in her heart. She could hear him shouting her name from the monitor and let out the tears that have been threatening to spill.

 

“You monster.” She whispered.

 

“I am a hero! I will bring the new world order HYDRA is longed to have. And you will lend your hand on this mission.” He pointed at the camera. “Sergeant Buchanan Barnes has given us incredible service and I will not hesitate to make him work a little longer, Miss Winters. You know I mean every word I said.”

 

“Let him go. He’s been through enough.”

 

“His freedom comes with a price and I’m sure you know what the price we want, Sylvia Winters.” Sylvia shivered at his words.

 

“I know. Let him go.” She didn’t hesitate, her eyes fixated on the man on the other side of the glass wall.

 

Strucker seemed surprised at the lack of hesitation and laughed.

 

“What a sweet couple. Both ready to sacrifice themselves. A reckless behavior, I must say.” Strucker shook his head in amusement, clicking another button, giving access for Bucky and the rest of HYDRA to see them.

 

“SYLVIA!” Bucky tried to yank off the restraints, his eyes wild. Sylvia gave him a small smile and mouthed I love you.

 

“Let.Him.Go.” Sylvia looked away from Bucky and stared right at Strucker’s eyes.

 

“I take it you accept our deal?”

 

“DON’T YOU DARE!” Bucky’s voice boomed through the glass wall.

 

“Let him go. I need to see him safe—“ The words stuck in her throat and she took a deep breath, trying to stop herself from crying.

 

“Sylvia, please.” She shook her head, trying to get Bucky’s voice out of her mind.

 

“I want him back to the Avengers Towers, UNHARMED. And I will come with you. I will do anything for you. Just—just get him back to the avengers towers.” She finished.

 

“You have my words.”

 

* * * * *

 

Bucky woke up in a dimly lit room, his body strapped onto a leaning chair. He didn’t have to see the machinery next to him to know he’s about to receive electroshock. He started to panicked when he couldn’t see Sylvia anywhere in the room and his eyes wildly scanned the whole room, stopping at a familiar figure.

 

“Rumlow.” He growled.

 

“Long time no see, Sarge.” Rumlow grinned at him.

 

“Where’s Sylvia?” Bucky knew Rumlow’s love for taunting people and he won’t entertain the man.

 

“Here’s the thing, Sarge.” Rumlow ignored Bucky’s question and approached him.

 

“We’re glad you guys end up together, honestly. But how far are you willing to go for each other? That’s the question.” He stopped a couple feet away from Bucky.

 

“Where is she?” Bucky repeated the question, his patience running thin, especially with his immobility.

 

“You’ve been very helpful to us and we wanted to give you the chance to see what she would do for you.” Rumlow jumped a little when Bucky growled and tried to lunge at him.

 

“You see, she was supposed to be the new weapon of HYDRA, the next in line to hold the name The Winter Soldier. Think about what HYDRA will achieve with her service.” Rumlow paused, watching the former Winter Soldier slumped back in his seat.

 

“But she will never say yes to the offer. She would rather fight against us than use her abilities to bring order to this world. So we had to make a deal with her. What’s the word? Ah, positive encouragement. You give her gift for her work.”

 

“What gift?”

 

“You.” Rumlow laughed when Bucky started to shouted out curse words and called her name.

 

“LET HER GO! Take me instead.” Bucky screamed.

 

“No can do, Sarge.” Rumlow shrugged.

 

“No.”

 

“See for yourself.” Rumlow gestured at the mirror wall who slowly turned invisible, revealing his girlfriend and Strucker.

 

Bucky tried to screamed her name, begging her not to take the deal but she looked away from him, her eyes glistening with tears as she told Strucker she would do what he says. Strucker seemed surprised for a moment before he turned to him, a pleased expression on his face. He gave Rumlow a sign before he walked out of the room, leaving Sylvia alone. She was trying not to look at him, he knew that and he kept shouting her name, hoping she will come to her senses.

 

“I guess this is goodbye, Sarge.” Rumlow feigned a hurtful look before injecting Bucky with a tranquilizer.

 

Sylvia’s worried face was the last this he saw before he fell unconscious.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. But here it is!   
> tell me what you think!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There is a man who would give his life to keep a life you love beside you.”   
> ― Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

No one bothered to speak unless they needed too. They all gathered in the Avengers quarter, each trying holding themselves as best as they could. Steve was on the verge of mental breakdown, pacing in front of the huge flat screen for the last hours. Tony kept himself busy by trying to find a way to track Sylvia and Bucky. Bruce was ready with information to help Tony. Thor just came back from his visit and had to be stopped from destroying the room. Nat and Clint decided that it was best to just release their pent up angers on a dummy they took from the gym.

 

“We need to get out there.” Steve finally spoke up.

 

“We would if we know where to look, capsicle.” Tony rolled his eyes.

 

“Cap’s right. We can’t just stay here. We can start searching for the former Hydra base.” Clint sat on the couch.

 

“It’s all cleared. We checked.” Bruce answered

 

“What about—“ Natasha’s sentence was cut by Jarvis’ voice.

 

“Excuse me, sir. It seems to me there’s a commotion outside the tower. My surveillance is not able to cover everything but there may have been someone who looks like Sergeant Barnes. I am scanning for potential threats.” Everyone held their breath and waited for Jarvis to come back.

 

“A commoner was hypnotized to take Sergeant Barnes to the front of the tower. I will be calling for medic.” Jarvis said. Steve didn’t wait for the rest of them to get ready and sprinted out of the room.

 

“What about Lady Sylvia?” Thor’s thoughts made everyone stopped in their track.

 

“Jarvis?” Tony looked at the ceiling, waiting for the AI to reply.

 

“I’m sorry, sir.”

 

* * * * *

 

The second time Bucky woke up after getting tasered by HYDRA’s state-of-the-art electric gun, he was no longer inside the lab and he felt his stomach churned. He was lying on a hospital bed, STARK’s medical wing, he concluded, and an IV was attached to his right arm. No one was inside the room and the silence sent him into a full-blown panic attack. He forcefully pulled out the needle and pushed away the machines around him.

 

“Bucky.” Steve’s voice caused him to look up.

 

“Steve—Sylvia. Where is she?” He croaked.

 

“Bucky, you need to calm down.” Steve grabbed his friend’s arms and Bucky pushed him away with his cybernetic arm.

 

“I need to get her.” Bucky mumbled, his eyes bloodshot red.

 

“Sarge, you need to calm down. We’re trying to find her.” Clint tried to reason. He had to look away when Bucky gave him an anguished expression.

 

“You don’t understand.” Bucky’s voice cracked at the end.

 

“Bucky… We know she’s still missing. We’ll find her.” Steve came up to him.

 

Bucky shook his head and slumped to the floor.

 

“She’s exchanging her freedom for me, Steve. That’s not supposed to happen. I should’ve been there but they didn’t even—dammit. I can’t even protect her.” Bucky blurted out, silencing the rest of Avengers who approached them.

 

“What?” Tony was the first one to spoke up.

 

Bucky had to pause several time while he told them what she did, roughly wiping off the tears that managed to fell down his cheeks.

 

“Why would she do that?” Bucky asked Steve in a whisper.

 

“She loves you, Buck. And we will find her.” Steve said, trying his best to hide his emotion.

 

“Let’s get you back to bed. You need rest, Barnes.” Nat stepped out and helped the men get back on his feet and guided him to his room.

 

“I need to find her.” Bucky helplessly stared at his friend.

 

“We’re trying out best to find her, Barnes. Thor and Sam are patrolling around the city and Banner is watching Tony’s program to find her. We will save her.” Nat told him.

 

“We don’t have the time, Nat. They’re going to wipe her memory and turned her into a weapon.” He whispered.

 

 

* * * * *

 

He didn’t get any sleep. The few hours he dozed off, he dreamt about Sylvia coming back to kill him. Bucky slipped out of the room, thanking his stealth skill and left the floor to get back to the Avengers quarter. Steve was the first one to see him, a tired smile on his face.

 

“How’s the progress?” Bucky asked.

 

“We found some potential locations. Tony, Thor, and Sam are going to check it out. Nat and Clint are going to another warehouse.” Steve explained the plan.

 

“I should go.” Bucky told Steve and Steve didn’t have the heart to tell him otherwise.

 

                                                                                            

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is a bit short but i hope you enjoy! :)  
> i have been busy with my thesis project and the last few days were quite hectic.
> 
> Don't be a silent reader, all your inputs and opinions on the story is very welcome :D


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Forgetting isn't enough. You can paddle away from the memories and think they are gone. But they will keep floating back, again and again and agian. They circle you, like sharks. Until, unless, something, someone? Can do more than just cover the wound. ”   
> ― Sara Zarr, Story of a Girl

Sylvia stared at the white ceiling with her empty eyes, trying to block out the scientist's conversation with Strucker. They had been injecting her with the very same chemical that would inhibit her power. She partially glad she couldn't hear their thoughts. She didn't think she would be able to live with whatever malice Strucker had in his mind. Her body was still strapped on the leather chair, the electroshock machine stood next to the chair, ready to be used on her. Her mind wandered to her life in the Avengers Tower and feeliny a deep regret for not opening up to them sooner, for not saying goodbye, for the things she will be ordered to do to them. She had blinked away the tears when Bucky came to her mind. She couldn't shake away their farewell. Bucky had begged her to say no and to let him be the winter soldier but she looked away from him. He had lived 70 years as their puppet and he deserved to live the life he had now. She, on the other hand, figured she could handle being the winter soldier's replacement. As long he's alive and happy, she kept repeating to herself, and away from HYDRA.

 

They came back in a few hours later to inject her with more inhibitor. She was about to fall back asleep when she felt them leaning the chair forward. Her pupils dilated in fear as she watched them tightened the straps on her. Strucker entered the room not long after, causing her to start trashing with the little energy she had left. They have been feeding her soft foods to keep her weak, enough to stop her from trying to escape.

 

"It won't be long, miss Winters." Strucker smiled, motioning a feeble looking scientist to put the helmet on her.

 

"You will literally be the winter soldier." He laughed at his own wordplay on her last name.

 

"It's ready, sir." An older scientist said.

 

"Good. Wipe her good. Rumlow will brief her when she woke up." Strucked nodded and left the room, Sylvia's screaming voice sounds like music in his ears as he closed the door.

 

*****

 

 

Bucky did not know what had just happened. One moment he was shooting the Hydra agents, snapping their necks when they got too close and the next he felt his body thrown to a wall.

 

"What the hell--" he looked up, still disoriented from the hit. He seemed to hit his head pretty herd.

 

He could see Natasha's blurry figure fighting other Hydra agenta across the hallway, Clint was running towards him, shooting arrows from a very short distance. He furrowed his eyebrows when he noticed Clint had stop running, his body frozen a few feets away from him. When his vision cleared, he followed Clint's line of sight, colors drained from his face at the sight of Sylvia.

 

"Sylvia-" Bucky didn't get to finish his sentence before her psychic wave threw Clint to a wall not far from him.

 

Clint let out a groan as he tried to get up. He looked perplexed by her use of power and Bucky saw a hint of worry in his eyes as he stared back at him. Bucky looked away and trained his eyes on Sylvia. She was wearing a suit similar to Nat, only in different color. The metallic suit brings out her eye color, Bucky noticed and he felt a tug in her heart. Is this how he looked like when he was The Winter Soldier? Eyes void of any emotions to the point he wondered if she's alive or if this was just his hallucination. Her mouth pressed into a thin line as she crouched in front of him.

 

"Sylvia, it's me Bucky. You know me." His sentence was followed with an agonizing scream when she put her finger on his eyebrows.

 

* * * * *

 

Steve recognized Bucky's scream. He had heard it when Bucky fell from the train 70 years ago and it brings up the guilt inside him as he sprinted to the other toom to find his best friend. Bucky was on his knees, leaning on a wall as he screamed. He saw Clint closed his eyes for a moment and he understood the archer's intention. Bucky's scream was full of pain, he doubt he had ever heard worse cry than that.

 

He raised his arm and was about to throw his shield when Clint shouted for him to halt. He didn't understand and felt a tinge of anger until he saw the person responsible for Bucky's torture turned around.

 

'That can't be her' was the first thing that came to his mind when he saw Sylvia's hollow eyes. His mind raced, trying to come up with a solution that doesn't involve hurting her. His eyes widened in shock at the arrow that grazed her arm. He saw Clint’s eyes filled with guilt as he put the bow on his back and took out his handgun.

 

“Stop it, Sylvia.” Clint’s begging voice made her turn around, a frown on her face.

 

She tilted her head and her smile slowly twisted into a smile. “Make me.” She said and lifted her arms, throwing Steve towards Nat who just finished dealing with Hydra Agents. They got tangled together and Clint heard Nat cried in pain.

 

“Sylvia, please.” Clint noticed a slight change in Sylvia’s eyes when she heard Bucky’s voice.

 

“You kept calling me Sylvia. That’s not my name!” She cried out, clearly disturbed by how Bucky made her feel things she wasn’t supposed to feel.

 

Everyone froze in their place, watching Bucky’s movement carefully. He seemed very calm, probably because he understands how it feels like to be in her shoes, Clint thought. Sylvia didn’t move a muscle, her eyes fixated on Bucky’s approaching figure, face contorted in confusion and frustration. Clint still had his gun trained on her, his eyes never leaving her.

“Your name is Sylvia Winters. You know me. You know us. We’re your family.” Clint slowly said, his gentle voice surprised him.

“No, I don’t!” She shouted, her hands raised and ready to stop Bucky from coming closer. She backed into a wall, afraid and confused with how her ‘missions’ begged her to remember. She blinked hard and Rumlow’s voice rang in her mind.

 

_Kill them. End them. You are a help to the mankind._

And she did try. She threw Bucky across the room. Her action caused Clint to finally pull the trigger and shot her in her previously grazed arm. She hissed in pain and decided that she should get her mission done quickly, using her uninjured arm to send Clint flying towards Bucky, knocking both of them unconscious. Steve threw his shield at her, narrowly missing an inch, to stop her from hurting Clint and Bucky.

 

“We need to get them out of here.” Nat suddenly said, dodging a flying chair from Sylvia.

 

“What?!” Steve shouted.

 

“There’s a bomb.” Nat shouted, pointing at the beeping device on the ceiling. She went to Clint to get him up. Bucky was half conscious when Steve got to them and helped him to get out of the place. Once Bucky managed to stand up on his own, Steve turned around to get Sylvia, who was still standing in the middle of the room, her eyes vacant.

 

“Sylvia, we need to get you out of here.” Steve gently spoke, cursing HYDRA for turning her into a disposable weapon. She looked up at the device and back at Steve, watching him carefully approached her.

 

Sylvia didn’t attack him when he touched her hand. Her eyes clouded with confusion as Steve talked to her in a whisper.

 

“You are not a weapon. You are a human being and your name is Sylvia Winters. You were captured by Hydra and I found you and saved you. Do you remember?” Steve let out a sigh of relief when he saw a flicker in her eyes. It was his blue eyes, he recalled, that made her trust him and he prayed for her to trusts him again.

 

“I can’t—“ she shook her head and tried to blinked away the confusion. Her eyes snapped open at the device’s increasing beeping noise.

 

“We need to go now, Syl.” Steve begged.

 

“Bucky.” Sylvia breathed out.

 

“Yes. You know him. He’s outside waiting for you.”

 

She shook her head again and looked at him with a pained smile on her face.

 

“You should go.” She flung him outside, followed by his shield.

 

* * * * *

 

“Where is she?” Steve heard Bucky’s raspy voice when he finally came to his senses.

 

He was outside the building, courtesy of Sylvia. His head throbbed in pain and he let Bucky helped him up.

 

“She’s still insi—“ His sentence was cut short by a deafening sound of explosion and the crumbling building in front of them.

 

He can hear Bucky’s small gasp.

 

“No.” Bucky let him go and tried to run into the burning building.

 

“Bucky, you can’t!” Sam flew down towards them after taking down Hydra on the other building, the rest of the avengers following him.

 

“She’s inside! I need to save her.” Bucky cried out, trying to pry himself off of Sam’s and Ironman’s death grip.

 

He fell on his knees with tears streaming down his face when the building collapsed to the ground.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you like it so far? tell me what you think of the story , i would love to know from you guys :D :D


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’ve been fighting to be who I am all my life. What’s the point of being who I am, if I can’t have the person who was worth all the fighting for?”  
> ― Stephanie Lennox, I Don't Remember You

Steve watched Bucky screamed, tears falling down his eyes as he tried to get lift the ruins to find her. Everyone stayed in their places, too stunned to say anything. He even heard Natasha, the last person he thought would break down, let out an anguished cry. He slowly walked towards Bucky who was preoccupied with calling her name, begging her to be alive and put an arm on his shoulder. The latter turned to him with red eyes.

 

“Bucky, I don’t think she’s—“

 

“She’s alive. She has to be alive, Steve.” Steve didn’t know Bucky could sound so broken and he wiped away his own tears, trying to stay strong for his best friend.

 

“Your hand is burned. Let’s get you fixed up.” Steve gently told Bucky, showing him his reddened skins.

 

“I need to find her, Steve. Please.” Bucky begged him and looked away at Nat who silently stood next to him, her sorrowful eyes watching the ruins in front of them for a moment before she crouched down.

 

“We need to find her.” She muttered and started to search for any places where Sylvia’s body might be.

 

“Nat…” Steve softly called out and the red head stopped trying to pushed away a huge chunk of ruin.

 

“She wouldn’t want to stay inside Hydra’s base. We should take her out. Save her.” She mumbled.

 

“I’ll call for help. We need to get her out of here.” Tony nodded.

 

Thor helped Natasha to stand up and guided her back to the helicarrier. She had to stop a few times to look back before they entered the helicarrier. Bucky didn’t move an inch, his face covered with his hair as he stared at the ground. Steve had to helped him up when he wobbled, his vision blurred by his tears.

  
“I should stay and wait.” Bucky finally looked up.

 

“I’ll stay with you.” Steve nodded and gave him a small smile.

 

 

* * * * *

 

The search was short live. They had scanned the whole ruins and found several body parts that are no longer recognizable. They apologized profusely before they left when Bucky came up to them, asking them for a way to find her.

 

Steve finally let out a small cry when everyone has left. He covered his eyes with his hand, trying to hide his tears but Bucky knew better. He didn’t say anything and waited for Steve to cry out, to mourn for the person he cares deeply about.

 

“She told me to leave, Buck.” Steve’s voice was laced with guilt.

 

“That’s just very Sylvia, isn’t it?” Bucky sadly chuckled and shook his head.

 

“I should’ve grabbed her and took her out.” Steve looked at his best friend who pats his shoulder in a comforting manner.

 

“It’s not your fault, Steve.”

 

“I let you die once and now I let her die, Buck. This is my fault.”

 

“She knew you would do that. That’s why she threw you out.” Bucky told him.

 

“I didn’t get to introduce her to my date.” Steve mumbled after a long silence.

 

“She would love to meet her, I bet.” Bucky smiled and Steve let out a small laugh.

 

“She would’ve pestered me to marry her, probably.” They shared a short moment of laughter and fell into a comforting silence. They needed this, Bucky thought. They needed to make peace with the place and with her death before they left the place.

 

“I miss her already.” Bucky confessed when they finally walked away from the scene.

 

“Me too.”

 

* * * * *

 

They had a private funeral with empty casket for Sylvia. Tony made sure they were made from the finest wood and had the best people to build it. The ceremony was short and the only people present were the avengers, Pepper Potts, Nick Fury, and Maria Hill. No one had the ability to come up with a eulogy, not even Tony who usually ready to speak out. They stayed silent, standing around the empty casket as they lowered it to the ground.  They did, put a stack of letters they have written inside, knowing how much Sylvia loved handwritten letters.

 

HERE LIES

SYLVIA WINTERS

DECEMBER 25th 1988 – APRIL 1st 2015

_“UNTIL THE VERY END.”_

 

“She really loved the book.” Bucky gave Bruce a small smile, thank him for his choice of quote.

 

“I know. She told me this was her favorite quote. I hope she likes it.” Bruce replied.

 

“She will.” Clint joined, his arms crossed in front of his chest, his face haggard but a small smile was etched on his face.

 

It was just like that and the funeral ended. They went back to their respective quarters in the Avengers Tower, some cried for a lot longer, some froze on their beds, wondering what went wrong, some plotted a revenge plan to the people responsible for her death. It was a difficult week for them. They had emerged from their places a few days later, eyes dark with determination and gathered in the main quarter. Nat was the first one to ask for permission to go on a hunting trip.

 

“I’m going to find Strucker.” Natasha said, eyes dark with revenge.

 

“What are you going to do when you find him, Romanoff? We need to go together.” Nick Fury intercepted.

 

“I am going to make sure he died of a painful death, Fury. You can’t stop me.”

 

“We’re going with you, you know. You’re not the only one who wants to put a bullet through his head.” Clint grinned.

 

Steve watched them discussed their plan on finding Strucker and he let his eyes wandered to Bucky’s silent figure. He had been sitting on the couch in silence the whole time with a thousand miles stare that reminds him of the broken soldiers from the war and felt his heart twist in pain. His best friend is slowly going back to his Winter Soldier mode, a side he never thought he’d ever see again. The pain he felt in his heart made him think about the day he lost Bucky and wondered if he’s going to lose him again this time.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel so bad writing this but do not worry because this story is far from over. ;)  
> Thank you for leaving kudos and I hope you enjoyed the story until now!  
> don't forget to leave a comment and tell me what you think so far. It would mean the world to me to hear from you guys! x


	21. chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “To hurt is as human as to breathe.”  
> ― J.K. Rowling, The Tales of Beedle the Bard

Clint watched his friends struggle to pick up the pieces after Sylvia's death. Bucky and Steve had it worst. Bucky had retreated to his old self and Clint felt a painful tug in his heart at the sight. The Winter Soldier seemed to take Bucky's place and left them with nothing but an empty shell, ready to avenge her death. Bucky's changes were obvious it calmed him down a little, knowing it's his way of coping. Steve's, Clint realized, was the worst. The man was more than happy to put a smile on his face and laughed at jokes as if nothing has happened. Clint watched the mas slipped once in a while, often at things Sylvia would've loved.

 

That night, few months after Sylvia's funeral, Natasha came back from a mission. Her battered body was carried on a gurney as the medics rushed to the emergency room Stark has provided. It was a horrible sight and it terrifies Clint to see someone as capable as her got hurt that badly. There were thoughts that was too shameful to be said, he realized. She had lost Sylvia and it was a common recurrence of her to say everything was pointless. He pushed away the thoughts and waited for the doctors to save his best friend.

 

The deafening silence in the waiting room was driving him crazy and he had to resist the urge to hug Bruce and Tony when they arrived. Tony has been having nightmares, he recalled, and has worsened after Sylvia's death. Bruce looked exhausted, probably from the days he spent awake in his bed, trying to force himself to sleep. He looked away from his two scientist friends and blinked his eyes hard.

 

"How is she?" Bruce asked.

 

"They said she's doing okay so far. There are still a few hours of surgery left. They were considering a medically induced coma because of her head trauma."

 

"Did you know what happened? I thought it was a simple grab and go mission." Tony looked confused.

 

“She went alone and came out beaten to a pulp?” Bruce sat next to Clint.

 

Clint didn’t reply to either question and leaned back on his chair. He didn’t think he would ever see Natasha in such horrendous condition. The three of them waited for the doctors to come out of the surgery in silence. Thor came to wait with them after Maria Hill called him. Steve and Bucky didn’t show up until a few hours later after a mission, both looked like they’ve been through hell.

 

“What happened to you two?” Tony furrowed his brows.

 

“We were outnumbered. How is she?” Steve quickly replied and looked at Clint for answer. Bucky stayed quiet a few steps behind him, eyes scanning the floor.

 

“She should be out in an hour or two. They said she’s doing great.” Clint updated them on Natasha’s condition.

 

“Agent Hill said she was attacked? Did HYDRA have a secret weapon?” Steve asked again, not noticing Bucky’s dark eyes at the mention of Hydra’s weapon.

 

“We didn’t know for sure, though. She went alone, Steve. One of the agent who helped her get back said it was just one on one fight but she went down pretty quick.” Bruce, who just finished talking to Maria Hill on the phone, replied.

 

“They have a new weapon.” Nick Fury’s voice caused everyone to looked up.

 

“What?”

 

“Coulson told me Hydra have been trying to create a new weapon that we still don’t know of. It’s possible agent Romanoff was attacked by the very weapon.” He secretly eyed Bucky who was sitting very still.

 

“Agents?” They all turned to the sound of the doctor walking out of the surgery room.

 

“How is she?” Thor asked.

 

“She’s doing well. There are broken bones and we had to perform surgeries to put it back together. We think it would be best to keep her in a medically induced coma for a while, it can help with her recovery and her head trauma. Other than that, she should be fine.” She gave them a small smile and quickly left before Thor could give her a bone-crashing hug.

 

“I can call Heimdall and Odin and asked them to send one of the healers to help quicken her recovery if you want.” Thor proposed.

 

Thor has never seen Steve and Clint looked so grateful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! how are you guys? I'm back ! A little short but i hope you like it!
> 
> tell me what you think :D
> 
> 19/10/2015 : Edited : It wasn't a month but a few months after her death :)


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There is no fear in True Love. It is protective, and never gives a reason to doubt.”   
> ― Ellen J. Barrier

It was not long until they were allowed to visit Natasha. The Asgardian healer has helped heal most of the worse injuries and gave them an ointment to help with her scars before she left. Natasha was still in a coma but the doctors have high hopes they could take her out of her induced coma in a day or two. Clint stayed with Nat, only going back to his quarter for a shower and a short nap.

 

“You need sleep, Barton.” Bucky’s low voice startled the archer. He walked inside and seated himself on the couch, his eyes empty.

 

“Barnes.” Clint nodded and gave the man a half smile.

 

They spent the next few hours in a comfortable silence. Clint eyed Bucky’s stiff posture on the couch, his eyes watching Natasha’s sleeping figure and Clint wondered if Bucky thought the same thing as he did. The man looked torn as he stayed in the same spot and Clint finally open his mouth to ask the man a question when he realized Bucky won’t speak without being asked.

 

“Why are you here, Barnes?”

 

He diverted his gaze to the archer and let out a small sigh.

 

“I wanted to ask her if she saw Sylvia.” He whispered.

 

“Do you think she’s still alive? You know the building exploded with her in it, right?” Clint asked again, doubt clouding his mind.

 

Bucky shook his head, trying to clear his mind. He tried to stop himself from being self-destructive and he didn’t have anyone he could talk to aside from Clint. He knew Steve would give him a sympathetic look and he couldn’t handle that. He needed to know if she’s the weapon they were talking about. He knew they wouldn’t let her die, just like they didn’t let him die 70 years ago.

 

“Barnes, you alright?” Clint’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

 

“I just—It’s just that it’s ridiculous to think HYDRA would just let her die. They told me she was going to be the next winter soldier and when Nat came back I thought—“

 

“You think they’ve been wiping her and she’s the one that attacked Nat.” Clint finished Bucky’s sentence.

 

For a moment, Clint felt like he could punch Bucky hard for even thinking about such possibility and for bringing up the wound he tried so hart to cover. The man was desperate to find Sylvia, he first thought. He saw Bucky’s eyes and he understood. This is the man who has been treated as a weapon for 70 years and Sylvia was the only person who could understand the pain he’s been through and Clint could understand how difficult it was to let go that kind of person. Bucky has been through so much, he thought to himself, and he didn’t deserve to lose her too. And he knows there was a little part of him that still hope she was still out there, alive, instead of blown up to pieces.

 

 

Clint didn’t say anything, his mind raced as he stared at his sleeping best friend. It was very difficult not to believe Bucky’s words when the man has always been the most logical and level headed among the Avengers. The possibility of having Sylvia alive is overwhelming for him. He thought about the first time she came to him, crying and asking him why no one seems to love her, the times where he felt incredibly protective of her, the times she gave him hugs for being a great friend. He let out a shaky breath and stared right into Bucky’s eyes.

 

“We should ask Nat when she woke up. If it was Sylvia, you have to know that she might not remember you, Barnes. You need to prepare yourself for that.”

 

“I know. Better than losing her for good.” Bucky gave him a sad smile.

 

“Yeah. As long she’s with us again, I’m good.” Clint nodded in agreement.

 

 

* * * * *

 

Steve was sent on a mission the day after, much to his dismay. He stealthily landed on the deck, his shield ready to be used as he proceeded to enter a small room. There were a few guards he easily knocked out. It should be easy, he thought to himself as he took out a small hard drive and plugged it into a port behind the computer. He was briefed on what he should and should not do and this is not his first time to extract information from HYDRA. He could hear some of SHIELD agents taking down any hydra agents that tried to reach the room. The hard drive was quickly unplugged the moment it completed its downloading. His lips curved into a satisfied smile and he turned around, only to felt his body thrown against the wall.

 

He let out a small groan and felt a stinging pain when his hand touched his ribs. His eyes quickly scanned the room, looking for the person responsible. His search was cut short when he saw a glimpse of figure and felt a soft touch on his forehead, followed by an agonizing pain throughout his body. He gritted his teeth and closed his eyes, trying to focus himself and forced his arm to punch the figure in front of him.

 

“Dammit.” He huffed when he finally managed to land a punch that sent his attacked across the room. He grabbed his shield and staggered to stand up, choking out when he finally saw his attacker stood up.

 

“Sylvia.” Steve breathed out, dodging a flying desk.

 

She was different, he realized. Her eyes were dark and empty as if he was staring into an abyss. She stared right into his eyes and it reminded him of the first time he saw Bucky. He quickly grabbed her arms and pinned her down to stop her from hurting him.

 

“Sylvia! Look at me! It’s Steve.” He begged her and felt himself tear up when she tried to shove him off.

 

“I don’t know you.” Her voice was flat.

 

“Yes, you do!” He dodged her kick and pinned her legs with his feet.

 

“Come on, Sylvia. Look at me. I’m your friend. It’s Steve. You know me. Dammit, Sylvia. Read my mind if you don’t believe me.” The last sentence seemed to work and he felt her relaxed a little, followed by her confused expression.

 

“I know you.” She whispered.

 

“You do. Good God, Sylvia. What have they done to you?” Steve saw a thin line of stitches across her exposed abdomen.

 

“I know you.” She repeated, clearly confused and frustrated by it.

 

“Yes, Sylvia. You know me. I am Steve Rogers. You are Sylvia Winters. You are taken by Hydra.” He tried to explain everything.

 

“Bucky.” She spoke up, her eyes lighting up when she mentioned his name.

 

“Do you remember him?” Steve smiled when she nodded, slowly letting her go when he was sure she’s not going to attack him anymore.

 

“Bucky Barnes. Steve Rogers.” She repeated, her lips curved into a tiny smile.

 

He helped her up and gently dragged her outside, shielding her from incoming bullets from HYDRA agents. She looked panicked and scooted closer as they both ran back to the quinjet. It wasn’t long before they were on their way back to New York.

 

“Sylvia Winters. That’s my name?” She asked again, as if not sure she has a name.

 

“Yes. You’re going back with me to the Stark Tower. Everyone thought you were dead. They’ll be happy to see you.” Steve said and his smile vanished when Sylvia’s body started to shake.

 

“Sylvia, you okay?” he bent down in front of her and grabbed her shoulders, trying to stop her from falling.

 

“No. No. They’re going to come again. No.” She kept repeating and shook her head, her hands clutching her head.

 

“How long until we’re back?!” Steve barked at the pilot.

 

“10 minutes, cap.”

 

“Sylvia. Look at me. Listen to my voice. You’re back with us. No one’s going to hurt you.” Steve tried to calm her down while he informed JARVIS to prepare for landing and to inform the rest of Avengers.

 

“No, you don’t understand! This is not real.” She cried out.

 

“You’re back. This is real, Sylvia. I’m right here.” Steve touched her hands.

 

“They’re going to cut me open again. This is a dream. They put you in my dream when they cut me open. I can’t—“

 

The door opened and she looked away from Steve to see the small commotion outside. Her rambling came to a stop when she saw his tall figure approached them.

 

“Bucky.” She breathed out.

 

“Sylvia.” She did not understand why he was crying as he wrapped his arms around her.

 

“This is real?” She whispered.

 

“Jesus, Sylvia. I thought you were dead.” He mumbled into her hair.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!! Tell me what you think! I would love to hear from your guys!
> 
> i hope you enjoy this story! :D


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “For the two of us, home isn't a place. It is a person. And we are finally home.”  
> ― Stephanie Perkins, Anna and the French Kiss

Bucky was just finished planning a possible extraction mission for Sylvia with Clint when he heard JARVIS’ voice calling him.

 

_“Sergeant Barnes, your presence is requested at the roof. Captain America is going to arrive with Miss Winters and would like your assistance.”_

 

“Who? What?” He stammered, his voice barely audible.

 

_“Miss Winters, sir. She was coming back home with Captain America. It would be best if you were to be there when they arrive.”_

 

Bucky felt his body stiffened as he tried to take in JARVIS’ words. He sat back down, his eyes shone and a shaky smile slowly appeared on his face as it started to sink in. He covered his mouth with his right hand; a bark of laughter escaped his lips as he looked at Clint in disbelief. The man was gaping at the ceiling, clearly in shock with the news.

 

“She’s alive?” Clint asked, his eyes watered.

 

“She’s alive. Oh God, she’s alive.” Bucky mumbled as he started to pace around the room.

 

“Barnes. You should stop pacing and go.” Clint told him and he gave the man a grateful smile before he darted out of the room.

 

“How is she, Jarvis?” Bucky asked as he waited in the elevator.

 

“It was hard to tell, Sergeant. I have scanned her and it seems to me she’s having a panic attack. I think she associates Captain Rogers with the dreams she had when they experimented on her.”

 

“Dammit.” Bucky let out a string of curse. He bit his lips and tapped his foot, his eyes fixated on the small plate with the changing floor number.

 

“Where are they now?” He asked, stepping out of the elevator.

 

His question was soon answered when the quinjet loudly approached the tower and landed. The rear hatch opened and he let out the breath he’s been holding when he finally saw her. She was sitting on one of the seat, Steve Rogers holding her shoulder as he tried to speak to her. He ignored Tony and Bruce who arrived not long after him and told him to wait. He froze when her eyes finally moved towards him.

 

“Bucky.” She breathed out and Bucky felt silly for crying. He watched her confused eyes stared back at him, probably wondering why he was sobbing, he thought. He wrapped his arms around her, feeling her body fit into his like a perfect glove.

 

She’s back. He kept repeating and winced a little when he heard her asking if this was real or not.

 

“Jesus, Sylvia. I thought you were dead.” He mumbled into her hair, smiling when he felt her arms around his waist.

 

“I—Why—why are you crying?” She mumbled.

 

“I’m just happy, Syl. So happy.” He whispered and gave her a tender kiss on her forehead.

 

“I know you.” She gave him a small uncertain smile.

 

His eyebrows pinched together as he stared in confusion and nodded when he saw Steve’s face in his peripheral vision.

 

“Yeah, you do. Do you remember anything else?” He softly asked and he could hear his heart broken to pieces when she shook her head in dismay.

 

“I—I just—I don’t know. I know you. I know Steve. And Natasha? Is that a person I know too?” She looked up at him and Steve.

 

“You do. That’s great, Sylvia. Do you remember them? Bruce Banner and Tony Stark.” Bucky lead her out of the quinjet. She slowly nodded and heard them let out a huge sigh of relief.

 

“Clint and Thor. There are Clint and Thor, right?” She asked again and grinned when she saw them nodded.

 

“We’re going to have her checked up, see if they did anything else to her.” Tony spoke up.

 

“Not now, Stark.” Bucky glared at him.

 

Tony raised his arms and slowly went towards her.

 

“You know we’re not going to do anything bad to you, right kiddo?”

 

“This sounds familiar.” She mumbled and Bruce let out a small chuckle.

 

“You almost blew up his lab the first time you were here.” He pointed at Tony.

 

“Really? I thought that was just a dream.” Her eyes brightened.

 

The reunion was cut short when Sylvia yawned. Bucky eagerly guided her to her room and to let her get a proper rest while Tony, Bruce, and Steve went to the lab to read any information from the hard drive.

 

“She’s alive.” Tony breathed out when they were back in the lab. He sat down on one of the stool and covered his face with his palms.

 

“It’s unbelievable.” Bruce agreed and patted his best friend’s back when Tony started to let out a small sob.

 

“We need to know what they’re hiding in that base. She was sent to different bases for a reason and for me to stumble upon her there, it must’ve meant something.” Steve said.

 

“They’re hiding something there.” Bruce concluded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave a comment and tell me what you think :)
> 
> thank you for subscribing, commenting, the bookmarks and kudos! :D


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You'll stay with me?'  
> Until the very end,' said James.”   
> ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Bucky understood the severity of being wiped by HYDRA. It was an agonizing process. You were strapped into a chair and they gave you a mouth guard, as if they care for your wellbeing. You can hear your own rapid heartbeat as they dial up the electric current. The buzzing sound of the electroshock that slowly gets louder as you felt unbearable pain throughout your body and you tried your hardest to hold on to the last string of sanity. No one moved a muscle as they watched you get torn apart. It was a spectacle for them. And no one care about how badly you wish the pain to be over, begging them to let you keep that one little memory you recovered. It went on until you can’t feel yourself and they emptied you out.

 

Bucky did not need anyone to tell him how bad her state was. He did not need anyone to tell him the suffering she’s been through in the months she was with HYDRA. He remembered everything. He knew the pain she had to go through and it was worse for him because he remembered. It was harder for him to be strong for her when all he wants to do is to fell on his knees and cry.

 

He told himself he needed to be strong for Sylvia. He’s been telling himself the same thing for the past week. He stood behind the glass window, his expression taught with anxiety and anger as the medics tried to administer sedatives without getting hurt by her power. She was crying and trashing around, crying out his name.

 

“Bucky, don’t.” Steve grabbed his elbow when he decided he should step in and help her.

                                                                                                                 

“She needs me, Steve.” Steve swallowed the lump in his throat as he watched Bucky’s devastated expression.

 

“They’re trying to help her, Bucky.”

 

“They’re hurting her!” Bucky interjected.

 

“Buck—“ Steve let out a hopeless sigh when Bucky twisted his arm away from him and barged into the room, silencing the doctors.

 

“Get away from her.” He growled.

 

“We need to perform some test on her, Sarge. We need to know what happened to her body—“ one of the doctors trailed off when she saw Bucky’s ferocious glare.

 

They backed away as Bucky crouched down in front of Sylvia who was trying to regain her breathing. He gently put his cybernetic hand on her hands and used his right hand to lift her chin.

 

“Sylvia.” He gave her a soft smile and let her wrapped her arms around his neck.

 

“I don’t like this place.” She mumbled.

 

“I know.”

 

“They did the same thing too.” Bucky took a sharp intake of breath as he remembered the times he saw her in HYDRA lab.

 

“Why don’t I take you home and get you a cup of hot cocoa? How’s that sound?” Bucky pulled away from the hug and brushed strands of hair away from her face. Her eyes were red and swollen and he knew she was still recovering from her panic attack when he felt her tight grip on his arms. She gave him a tiny nod and Bucky helped her up, glowering at anyone who dared to stop him.

 

“Get closer to Sylvia and I’ll kill you.” He hissed when a doctor tried to stop them from walking away.

 

* * * * *

 

“Well, that’s a spectacle I’ve been expecting to happen.” Steve turned and found Natasha on her wheelchair, watching Bucky and Sylvia walked away.

 

“It has been like this for the past couple of days. They can’t even get her checked up without her having a full blown panic attack and Bucky getting into his winter soldier mode to protect her.” Steve let out a sigh.

 

“You can’t blame them for being distressed with those doctors, Steve.” Natasha gave him a sympathetic smile.

 

“I know. It’s just—We don’t know what we should do with her, Nat. She was hurt and we need to know if they did anything else to her.” Steve buried his face in his hands.

 

“It’s hard to trust anyone when you’ve been tortured for so long. Bucky could do it because he knew these doctors meant no harm but Sylvia just got back and you remember how she was the first time she went here.”

 

“I just wanted her to get well.” Steve mumbled.

 

“Me too, Steve. We all want her to get well. She trusts Tony and Bruce, why don’t I talk to her and ask if she’s more comfortable with them treating her.” Natasha put her hand on his shoulder.

 

“Yeah. That’d be great.”

 

* * * * *

 

She remembered how Bucky made her feel. She also remembered Steve and Nat saved her once and that she could trust the Avengers. It was a nice memory, a warming feeling bubbled inside her when she remembered a fragment of memories about them. She wished she could forget the torture. She spent every night praying for it to go away. She could hear the faint buzzing noise and the crackling of the machine when she lies on her bed every night and she wondered if there would be a day when the noises disappear.

 

Sylvia knew Bucky was trying too hard to be strong and she wished he‘d told her his sufferings instead of acting tough in front of her. She let him pulled her into his chest as they slept and she would listen to the small cries inside Bucky’s head as he fell asleep. She never told him that she could listen to his pained thoughts and she knew he’d figured it out anyway. It was a difficult two months and she felt an immense sense of pride when she managed to survive without going crazy.

 

Bruce Banner has replaced the medics and she couldn’t be more grateful for that. He was quite and gentle, talking her throughout the process and it helped her understand what he was doing. Tony Stark helped her adapt inside the tower too. He showed her his workplace, explaining every single thing they do in the tower and she felt safer and more relaxed having that knowledge. Thor would come and tell her tales of Asgard to entertain her and some days, he would smuggle Asgardian desserts for her, much to everyone’s dismay.

 

Sylvia spent most of her days in her quarter, reading books and painting. Clint and Nat usually stopped by to drag her to the archery room or shooting range. She did not like shooting much, she decided, it was too loud and made her feel anxious but Nat always said she needs to be prepared so she always go with her to the shooting range. She also decided that she likes archery even though she does not have a perfect sight like Clint. It helped her cleared her mind and it wasn’t as loud as shooting, which is a plus. Baby steps, her therapist would say. She was the one who forced her to continue her activities with Clint and Nat. She reminded herself to thank her therapist for forcing face her fears.

 

Steve usually dropped by in the morning or late afternoon. He had a small smile on his face and he makes her feel safe. He laughed when she told him that, telling her it was the same thing she said when they saved her the first time. Sylvia smiled at that and would listen to Steve’s stories about her and Bucky. She would laugh when Bucky came home and scowled at Steve.

 

“Find another woman, punk.” She once heard her boyfriend says.

 

“Are you jealous, Bucky?” She could hear the teasing in Steve’s voice.

 

* * * * *

 

That’s how she spent her life in the tower, making new memories. Her old memories may never come back and she probably has to recreate every single thing she ever did with Bucky and the rest of Avengers. She remembered bits and pieces and it frustrated her sometimes when she couldn’t remember the next event and had to ask Bucky for the rest of the story. It was hard and she remembered crying in frustration when she could not remember the first few times. But when the months rolled by, she found herself adjusting to her new life, learning that not remembering is okay, that they would have the time to recreate every single one—a promise Bucky has made the first time she cried in front of him.

 

For the first time in six months, she slept next to Bucky in their new bedroom, listening to his steady breathing, feeling the warmth of his body and realized, she no longer hear the faint buzzing sound.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally finished!!!It's been fun, guys and thank you for reading this story. I am considering a spin-off of the story that will be focused on Steve Rogers and OC and probably add a oneshot sequel on Sylvia's life with Bucky and the Avengers in the towers.
> 
> I would love to hear about your thoughts on this story and any advices are welcome :) Thank you for all kudos, comments, bookmarks, and for subscribing to this story. I hope I did not disappoint you and I hope you love this story as much as I love writing them.
> 
> See you on my next story! :)


End file.
